Rollercoaster

#35 Everything will be fine.

I was forced to write an author's note so 'hello'!

Chapter 35 Song

Hold On (Chord Overstreet)

* * *

Speechless.

My throat felt dry and tears were now pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably. I ran back out to my motorcycle and took off to the hospital. My mind was hazy and my ears felt blocked. My eyes were filling up and my vision started to blur. My hands shook as I tried to regain control of the motorcycle. I was riding on the wrong side of the road and I heard faint honking of annoyed drivers who were probably just having a normal day, but being interrupted by a stupid teenager who's heard had been crushed in more than one way.

When I finally managed to reach the hospital, I ran to the lobby, asking the receptionist for the room my mom was in.

I think she replied... but I didn't hear. It was like my ears had nothing but vacuum, preventing any sound from being heard. I asked again and failed to comprehend once more. She eventually just got up, held my hand, and led me to the room. 

I burst into full out tears when I saw my mom on the bed, ear bleeding, bandages all over, with closed eyes. She was wearing hospital clothes and had bruises all over her face. At this point I could only hope she was alive.

Regaining my senses, I tried to ask the receptionist who brought me there what had happened.

"She got into an accident."

No shit. "Can I- " sniff  "Can I - uh - have a little context, please," I forced in between sniffs.

"I heard from the people near the location of the accident that she was driving over the speed limit and while trying to come to a sudden halt, she crashed into the lorry in front..."

"How bad is it?"

"Brain haemorrhage. She's been bleeding for quite sometime now, the doctor said there's a 60% she might not make it... I'm really sorry," she said remorsefully. 

I sat on the bed, next to my mom. I held her hand and put my head on her chest, sobbing for what felt like hours. She got into an accident. She might not make it. Why did this have to happen. Suddenly, I felt like the most ungrateful bitch to exist. Complaining about a boy? Who had I become? There were way worse things to be worried about. 

Did Cole know? I hated that I wasn't there earlier. She might not make it. She might not make it. She might not make it. She might not make it. She might not make it. She might not-

"Sydney, right?"

The doctor looked at me, disheartened. "I know how you must be feeling right now. I've seen this happen to a large number patients in my lifetime. Just know that this was not in your control. Whatever happens from now on, is in control of us doctors and fate. There is a good chance she'll make it. For now, all you can do is hope. I know you can. And I know you will." With that, she left.

I don't know for how long I sat in that hospital room. I heard a phone call but didn't pick up. Even a nurse walked in somewhere in the during my time there. Even a nurse walked in somewhere during the middle, telling me I shouldn't be at the hospital for so long. I refused to leave and got an hour extension until they literally dragged me out.

The doctor had come and told me that I'll be put into a foster home temporarily. They said my mom would be in the hospital for a few weeks. Until she wakes up... or doesn't. It seemed like they were already assuming she wasn't going to make it. 

I couldn't go to a foster home. I didn't want to go to a foster home. I wanted my mom. I wanted her to be okay so we could just go home. I wanted her to wake up and I wanted to hug her. I wanted everything to just be okay.

I was offered food, but I didn't feel like eating. My stomach felt like it had disappeared. No feeling of hunger. No somersaults. No nauseating feelings. It was just numb. My mind had gone blank. A contrast to the time my mind was flooded with thoughts. I felt some sort of peace. Just a little worry trying to creep it's way into my head, telling me my mom won't make it. But most of me had this hope that she would. A sort of knowingness. She was a strong person. And I know she would fight for her life if she had to. She will be fine. Everything will be fine.

"Sydney, you've got five minutes left before we move you to the foster home," the nurse came in and announced.

No. There was no way in hell I was going to go to a foster home. I wanted to be here. By my mother's side till the very moment she opens her eyes.

"I want to stay here."

"You know that you can't do that. You're a young girl who needs a home for now. You can't stay here for the night. You can come back tomorrow only during the visiting hours, but you need to go today. You need to get some sleep."

"No! I'm not leaving!"

"Sydney, you've got five minutes, whether you like it or not, that's not your choice," she said and left.

I had a feeling I was going to be the my most stubborn self tonight...

Ten minutes later, the nurse walked in again, telling me to come outside where the foster parents were apparently waiting.

"I already told you. I'm not leaving."

"Don't make me do this..."

"Leave me alone! She's my mother!"

With a sigh, she went outside.

That was too easy... it felt wrong.

She came in however, a minute later... with a policewoman.

Crap.

The policewoman tried to convince me once more and when I refused she came towards me and held me by my hand with a tight grip.

"Let me go!" I yelled.

"You have to come, Sydney. It's what's best for you."

"I said NO!"

"You are going, whether you like it or not, and if you try to do something stupid, we won't let you enter the hospital tomorrow. I need you to be serious. Let me help you."

She dragged me this time. 

I put up a huge tantrum, eventually crying as I held onto the end of the bed my mom was on. I felt like I was being ripped apart. My soul in one place, my body being forcefully dragged to another. Physically being forced to do something I didn't wish to do. Let me stay here. Let me be with my mom. Let me watch her open her eyes.

"Please," I squeaked, my mouth completely dry.

With that being my last word in the room, I was dragged outside and taken to the foster home in a police car.