Love The Way You Lie

13

"Do you love him, Cali?" napahinto ako nang marinig ang tanong niya.

Memories flashed in my mind on how we met. How he saved me a lot of times when I am in danger. How he treat and even teased me. I remember it all in times like this. It's giving me stress to think about it.

"Haahhh, can't answer huh?" napabaling ako sa kanya nang magpakawala siya ng malalim na buntong hininga.

"I thought it's still me. Nag-assume ako when we saw each other after two years. Dahil kung ako pa rin handa akong agawin ka but I will support you with everything I got. I want you to be happy kahit pa sino ang mamahalin mo pero once na saktan ka niya, bumalik ka lang dahil handa akong tanggapin ka uli ng buong-buo." he said with his gentle voice.

I don't really deserve this man. He's too good for me. I am toxic and the red flag between us. I'm immature that I can't give the same energy he will do to me.

"N-no, I don't love him." mariin kong tutol and even if I did I will stop this feeling habang hindi pa lumalalim.

"I don't really understand myself, Jacob. I'm really sorry. To be honest, noong una nating pagkikita akala ko ikaw pa rin but when I saw Lucas, it's different feeling. Lucas and I didn't saw and contact each other for two years pero ngayong magkasama kami ng isang araw pa lang. Lahat ng tinago ko ay parang sumabog." problemadong sambit ko.

"You are just starting to realize your feelings, don't you? Maybe, you fall for him back then but you can't just accept it and you tried to forced yourself to think that it's me that you love even though you're starting to build a love and care for him. I don't also know at all and it hurts me a little to tell you a piece of advice about your recent relationship but I'm also glad that you open up for me. It makes me feel special." mahinahon niyang sabi.

I just smiled. He's indeed kind. I hope someone will stay with him and give all the treatment he deserve. And give all the love that I couldn't.

I told a lot of stories to Jacob when I was in Spain. He asked me about my experience in my wedding and I  answered that it's nothing special but I told him that I planned a divorce with Lucas. I'm happy that he's now a professional teacher and basketball coach from our university (Alcazarana University).

"Thank you for today, Cali. I'm so relieved because I finally heard your side. I understand your situation, so I'll try my best to move on but I want us to go back on how we used to be. As best friend?" sumilay ang ngiti ko sa sinabi niya. Inilahad niya pa ang kanyang kamay.

I used to be alone. I am not a great keeper so everyone who comes in my life is also leaving. I am used to cry inside my room alone while the darkness is eating me alive. I used to be ignored by my own family when I was still a child so I'm glad that Jacob stay with me over the past years even today, when I left without a word he's still willing to stay with me. 

"A simple thank you is not enough to show my gratitude to you but I am very lucky to be loved by you. Let's stay as best friends!" sabi ko at tinanggap ang kanyang kamay na nakalahad.

"Let me give you a ride?" tanong niya at iwinagayway ang kanyang susi.

Nag-alangan ako dahil baka magalit si Lucas but Jacob and I are just friends so I don't have to worry. Gusto kong iuntog ang sarili ko dahil inaalala ko siya when I am planning to do everything for him to divorce me. I shouldn't care for what he's feeling right now.

Nasa parking lot kami ng Alcazarana University dahil naroon ang kanyang kotse. Pinagbuksan ako ni Jacob ng pinto ngunit bago pa ako makasakay ay may humablot ng kamay ko. Pagkalingon ko ay agad kong nakita si Lucas.

Magkasalubong ang kanyang kilay habang galit na nakatitig kay Jacob. He's still wearing his corporate suit.

"Kim, let's go home." matigas na sabi niya at hinila ako ngunit nagulat ako nang hawakan din ni Jacob ang kabila kong kamay kaya napahinto kami.