Love The Way You Lie

21

"Why are you silent? You should apologize to Calyana." I swallowed hard when Lucas said it in front of me. He's holding Calyana's shoulder for the support.

Pati ba naman siya balak akong talikuran ngayon? My knees are so weak! Anytime I'll fall but the one he is assisting is my sister?

I'm damn her wife! Not my sister! It's me But why?

My silence means I'm tired of everything. I don't want to argue with them anymore. Think what they want and judge me until they get satisfied. No one will believe me anyway.

Apologizing for something that I didn't do is the one that I would never do even if it kills me!

"I'm leaving..." pagod na sabi ko at akmang lalagpasan sila ngunit agad akong napahinto nang makatikim ako malutong na sampal mula sa aking ina.

"H'wag kang bastos, Calista." rinig kong sambit ni Lucas kaya napatigil ako.

Inangat ko ang ulo ko para subukang pigilan ang luhang nagbabadyang umagos.

"Where do you think your manners are? Just apologize to your sister and to everyone here for giving us such a trouble! Oh my goodness. You're already a grownup yet you still feel jealous of your sister. If only you're intelligent and good as she is!" nanggagalaiti sa galit ang Mommy ko kaya dinaluhan siya ni Daddy.

Samantalang ang mag-asawa Vilmonte ay pinapaalis ang mga bisitang nais makinood sa sitwasyon na akala mo'y nasa teledrama.

"Why should I apologize for something I didn't do?" I laughed sarcastically.

"You brat—" mabilis kong pinutol ang sasabihin sana ni Mommy.

I want to let it all out. I got enough pain.

"I know! I'm such a disappoinment to you.It's always my fault isn't?" I can't help but to screamed.

The sound of wailing and suffering echoed throughout the place.

Bakas ang gulat nilang lahat specially both of my parents. I took all their insults for me for so many years. I accepted them all and didn't fight back.

"Mom, Dad.... I wish you knew I'm trying so hard. I tried my best and I'm sorry for not being a person you want me to be!" para akong mapapaos sa lakas ng sigaw ko.

I know myself did everything I could to get appreciated. Inubos ko ang oras ko sa pag-aaral. Hindi ako nakikipag kaibigan sa marami because I feel like they will just get in my way. They will disturb my goals.

But all of my sacrifices for them wasn't enough.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako... Ako na sariling anak niyo ay kailangan ko pang lumuhod at magmakaawa para lang sa pagmamahal at atensyon niyo!" sigaw ko sa gitna ng aking paghikbi. 

"For so many years, I didn't blame anyone for experiencing that my parents isn't proud of my own achievement. Not even once! It always been Calyana! I'm always at fault here! Lahat ng sinasabi ni Calyana pinaniniwalaan niyo but you... you never believed me! You didn't even check if I'm fine..." nanginginig ang boses at nanghihina ang tuhod ko.

They didn't ask me how's my day after school like they used to do with my sister. I wish my parents could understand how I longed for their love and care.

"Every graduation..." napahinto ang saglit upang humugot ng malalin na paghinga. "In my kinder, elementary, and highschool graduation... you never attended! I have always been alone and now, isasampal niyo sa'kin ang pakikitira ko kasama si Jacob? When he's the only person who stay by my worst... he saved me when you're drowning me from your insults and disappoinment!" I wipe my tears that kept on falling.