50 Shades of Drake 5 and 6

Chapter Thirty-Five

    The sun set, and still Aubrey and Destiny remained on the balcony, holding each other in a comfy silence. His arm stayed around her, and his face for the most part stayed buried in her hair. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of a distant city. Distant traffic, planes flying overhead, one of his staff members with their television volume up way too loud. He felt incredibly naked, as if he were wearing his heart on his sleeve. Ironically, that is what he was best known for as an entertainer. The rapper who wore his heart on his sleeve, who unleashes all of his emotions in his lyrics. These days, not many people would speak those words of Aubrey Graham. Destiny was one of the only people in the world who knew how emotional he was, to this day. Granted, she was the cause of the emotions nine times out of ten.

    He sat with one arm around her, and the fingers of his other hand linked with hers. Sitting with her like this was a beautiful moment in time, the type of moment that you always carried with you for the rest of your life. Moments like these were what people often hoped their relationships would be like. I'm fortunate to be able to live it, he thought, nuzzling his face in her hear and breathing in. "For the longest time, I thought I was undeserving of love." The words escaped his mouth of their own accord; he hadn't meant to speak his thoughts aloud. Once he started talking though, he couldn't just stop, so he trudged on. "As a young man, I had a pure heart. I loved with everything I had, and got hurt enough times that it hardened me. So then I became...someone that I wasn't proud of. I did things...hurt women. In my head, it was justified. I worked up some kind of system that absolved myself of blame at the time, but looking back...I should've never allowed any woman to turn me into what I was. So there was that period when I was just...selfish. An asshole. I would never call myself a player, really, because I was still honest and up front. Most of the time. I still take the blame though, because even though I was honest, I knew what those women were expecting. I knew what their hopes were. I tell a woman that our situation is casual, and I knew which ones were hoping that it would become something more. If I were a stand up guy, I would've left those women alone instead of leading them to believe that something more could happen."

    Destiny squeezed his hand, most likely a gesture to encourage him to talk more.

    "There was that period, where I was only out to get what I wanted. It didn't last too long. Longer than it should have, certainly, but it didn't take long for emptiness, for a void to set in. Ah, that void..." His voice trailed off and he stared into the distance while resting his chin on top of her head. "When you've slept with someone and then you roll over and you're like, 'What did I just do? Why did I just do that? Why am I here? How did I get here?' That knowing that the person you just slept with will just be a distant memory, five years from now. That feeling of being alone, even when a woman is lying right next to you...it's one of the worst feelings out there. Feeling alone, even when you're not."

    "...So I never actually am alone, I just always feel alone," she sang out.

    He smiled and kissed the top of her head. A rush of pride ran through him at the sound of her voicing his lyrics. "Something like that, yeah."

    "I thought you were just talking about your security."

    He laughed. "That line had multiple meanings for me." His laughter died down. "I knew that the emptiness I was feeling would never be filled if I was living how I was living, so...I slowed down. I evaluated how I was living, how I was interacting with women and I opened myself up again. Not once, but twice. Neither time ended well, and that's when I decided to deal with women on a casual basis. I felt like I was just destined to be single for forever."

    "That's a horrible way to feel," she muttered.

    "At first it was horrible, but then it just became my normal," he explained. "Throughout my years, I've come across a lot of great women. None that felt like they were the loves of my life, but women who I know I could've lived a happy life with. I came to a point where I felt like maybe I rolled the dice too long, passed up those perfectly decent women for too long. I felt like...maybe I should have just settled down with one of them, even though the timing hadn't felt right and even though the women hadn't felt quite right for me, not long-term."

    "Never settle."

    "I'm not a fan of settling, no," he agreed. "I held out. I waited. And even though I definitely don't deserve you, I was blessed with you."

    She raised her head off of his chest and tilted her head back.

    He looked up at the sky with her.

    "You always speak like you're the lucky one," she said softly.

    He slanted a look down at her.

    She was still looking up at the sky.

    He slid his arm from around her and shifted. With slow movements, he stood up from the chair and extended a hand to her.

    It took a moment for her to lower her eyes from the now dark blue sky to the hand he held out to her. She took his hand and stood up.

    His eyes drank in the sight of her. She'd now been naked for nearly the entire day, and he still wasn't tired of looking at her. Her body still had the same effect on him that it had when he'd first commanded for her to remove her clothes. If only she knew how much self-control it had taken to put his clothes back on earlier today without enjoying her body to the fullest extent; that hadn't been easy for him. He just happened to be gifted with the ability to make things look easier than they actually were. It was an ability that often worked to his advantage. Without speaking, he led her from the balcony into the master bedroom, where he released her hand and stood behind the bed.

    She stood before him, staring up him. Curiosity glimmered in her dark eyes.

    Reaching out to touch her hair, he said, "Undress me."

    To her credit, she only hesitated for one second, possibly two, before lifting her hands to the bottom of his t-shirt. She went on tip toe to raise the shirt over his head and smiled in appreciation when he cooperatively slid his arms through the arms of the shirt. After tossing the shirt onto the bed, she grabbed onto the waistband of his sweatpants.

    He couldn't stop himself from giving her a daring look.

    She locked eyes with him, her hands frozen on the waistband. But again, she hesitated only briefly before tugging his pants downward. The pants dropped and so did she, lowering until her knees touched the floor.

    Seeing her look as beautiful as she looked, obeying his orders and adopting a position of servitude was almost too much for him to bear. He game dangerously close to bending down, picking her up, and throwing her against the wall. As her Dominant though, he had to be the shining example of discipline. As such, he held his urges in check and lifted each foot for her so she could pull the sweatpants off. He hadn't worn his usual boxer briefs beneath, so once the sweatpants were gone he was completely nude. "Up," he said, his voice soft.

    Tucking strands of dark hair behind one ear, she stood up.

    "Today has been pretty...intense." He thumbed his nose. "You've learned a lot more about me, probably more than you wanted to know. You've learned more about my views on the lifestyle. I intended for you to learn more about the lifestyle in general, but we got a little sidetracked. I'll save that for tomorrow. But for right now, I think both of us could use a little bit of release."

    Her lips parted.

    "So..." He slid his hand up her stomach and pinched the tip of one breast. "So, I'm going to give you what you've been waiting for all day."