50 Shades of Drake 5 and 6

Chapter One Hundred One

    "So I was wondering what my maid of honor's dress is going to look like," Candace said, leading off the phone call. "Did you get the measurements that I texted to you?"

    "Of course I got the measurements," Destiny replied. "I would've kept texting you and calling until I got them. That's the only way I could get the dresses ordered."

    "Hold up, wait a minute, something sounds sketchy up in this," Carlos interjected. "Candace, to you I ask, 'Bitch whet?'"

    "What special kind of crazy are you talking now, Carlos?" Candace asked.

    "You're just assuming you're Destiny's maid of honor when I've been up in this shit, pulling her down from the ledge of mediocrity," Carlos declared. Destiny could just imagine the hair flip that went along with that line. "I had to stop this bitch from wedding dress hunting in a damned wedding catalog from 2009. I've earned the maid of honor spot."

    Jasmine cackled.

    "Maid of honor?" Candace shrilled. "You?"

    "Yas, bitch," Carlos said.

    "Carlos. Hunty."

    More cackling from Jasmine.

    "Yes, Candace? Hunty?" Carlos returned.

    "Maid of honor consists of the word maid and the last time I checked, you weren't a damned maid," Candace said.

    Destiny held the phone away from her ear, since everyone's voice had risen significantly since the start of the phone call.

    "Maid or not, I've earned the role, bitch," Carlos maintained.

    "Earned how?" Candace squealed. "You have no pussy, bitch."

    "Bitch!" Carlos yelled.

    More of Jasmine flipping her shit in the background, while the two went at it.

    "Neither one of you are my maid of honor," Destiny said calmly, placing the phone to her ear again.

    Carlos gasped. "The audacity."

    "I knew it," Jasmine said after clearing her throat. "Thanks for looking out, bewbew."

    "I'm not going to have a maid of honor," Destiny explained, "because I don't value any of you above the other. You're all supportive of me, and you've all been there for me when I needed you."

    "I guess," Carlos muttered. "But Candace, when you get here, sleep with one eye open at night, bitch. I don't take that 'you have no pussy' line lightly."

    "Chile, please," Candace said, laughing.

    Carlos gave in and started laughing, too.

    The conversation eased into more light-hearted topics, the itinerary, and the possibility of a bachelorette party. "I'm not going to have one," Destiny announced.

    "Umm, meep, meep," Carlos interjected. "Exsqueeze me? No bachelorette party? And in what world did you think you were marrying this possessive ass nigga without one night of debauchery?"

    "Even if I had one, I wouldn't be dry humping some stripper," Destiny said. "Having a man dry hump me for cash is not appealing to me."

    Carlos was quiet for a moment. Then, "Candace? Jasmine? She's your friend now. I don't claim her anymore."

    Everyone started talking over each other.

    "No bachelorette party?" Candace demanded.

    "Even if you don't want one, have it for my lonely ass," Jasmine urged. "Drake loved up on strippers and found the love of his life. Shit, maybe it'll work for me, too."