50 Shades of Drake 5 and 6

Chapter Thirty-Four

    "By now, you probably think I'm some form of a hypocrite or something." Quiet words spoken as Aubrey played in Destiny's hair. He had changed into a t-shirt and sweats shortly before preparing a meal for the both of them. Now they lounged together, him with his arm around her, enjoying the feel of her head on his chest.

    They sat on a bench on his property, overlooking a setting sun dipping beneath the hills. "Am I allowed to respond to that truthfully?" she asked in half-jest.

    "I feel like...the longer I'm with you, more and more of my layers are getting peeled back," he said. "So many layers have been peeled, that it's getting harder and harder to peel the rest. I'm showing myself to you...I'm showing you who I am, at my very core. It's quite scary for me, actually. It's been a long time since I've done it. At work, there is a side to myself that everyone gets to see. With my family, there are other sides they get to see. When I'm with a woman...and I mean really with her, not just the causal shit...I want her to be able to see all of those layers."

    She remained quiet.

    "And you...I treasure you more than anything in the world. So, I want you to see me. But...there are sides to me that I'm scared of showing you. I feel like...I feel like if I show them to you, you'll want to walk away from me." 

    She lifted her head off of his chest and looked at him. "What part of you could possibly make me want to walk away from you?"

    He stared back at her for a long moment, then shrugged. "You already think I'm chauvinistic."

    Her lips curved into a smile. "That word may have been a little strong."

    "You think I'm a hypocrite."

    "I think..." She paused, not wanting to use a word that was too insulting while still conveying how she felt. "I think you are a control freak, is what I think."

    He blinked at her, then lowered his eyes.

    "I think that you want me to trust you, and to love you unconditionally for who you are but I feel like you don't trust me." She pressed a hand to her chest. "I feel like you don't trust me with your heart, and...after what we've been through recently, I can't really blame you for feeling that way."

    "It's not about that," he said quietly, still looking downward.

    "Then what?" she asked him.

    He cleared his throat and stroked his jaw. "More layers for you to peel."

    "I won't stop peeling," she vowed. "I want to get to know you, all of you." 

    He squinted his eyes and raised them, peering through the balcony rails. "We've kind of touched on it before, but I didn't really go into it. You mentioned how I tend to need a lot of validation from you. And...I do. I like to hear that you love me. When I'm fucking you, I like to hear you telling me that it's mine, that I own it. I like to assert my ownership of you, and I like to be reminded that you're mine because when I think of you, when I think of us that way, it feels like you'll never leave me. A possession doesn't just...get up and walk away. You know?"

    Mixed feelings mingled within her when she heard his words.

    "I know how that sounds," he said quietly, lowering his eyes again. "It makes you sound like a thing, and not a person. I'm not speaking that way to sound like a dick or anything. And I don't know if you're going to be able to understand me when it comes to this, but when I think of you as a person, I think of you as someone who can just...get up and leave, whenever she wants. Someone who can leave me, whenever she wants. When I think of you as a possession that I own, I think of you as someone-"