Onika's Anatomy

Harper Avery

"There's nothing more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears." – Nicki Minaj

2 Years Later....

Onika POV

My eyes fluttered opened slowly as I heard the sound of chairs and desk moving around me. Reality had finally hit me- I had fallen asleep on my first day of my cardiothoracic fellowship orientation. I looked around for my laptop bag stuffing whatever papers were placed in front of me during my unforeseen nap.

Dr. Jenkins voice boomed from the podium in the auditorium. "Nice for to join in Dr. Maraj, follow me to my office and tell me all about your nap." He smartly remarked.

I gave him an awkward smile, but deep down I was silently cursing myself out—way to go on my first day back to work in two years.

I followed Dr. Jenkins down the steps leading to a long hall. He paused opening some large doors, giving me a head nod to walk inside. When I stepped in the room, I noticed that it was a big office. The walls contained numerous achievements of plaques and trophies all in honor of Dr. Jenkins himself. When my eyes landed on the photo of him and her, standing side by side smiling with a few awards. Within seconds I felt as if my throat was tightening- I had to grab onto the back of the chair to pace myself.

"Dr. Maraj I apologize... I meant to move this photo before you came." Dr. Jenkins said hastily removing the frame from the wall and discarding it into the trash. "As you know—I do not condone domestic violence of any kind..." Dr. Jenkins paused before touching my hand, grabbing my attention.

"Dr. Maraj are you okay?"

"I'm fine--- I just got a little lightheaded. It's been a rough week with the move and everything." I lied.

"Dr. Maraj if this is too much too soon, I completely understand-."

I cut him off quickly. "No Dr. Jenkins I want this—I need this..."

He sighed. "If you insist... But I will let you know now; you have nothing to be afraid of. As long as you are here, she will not get to you—And that is a promise." Dr. Jenkins said sternly.

I sighed looking at him. "Thank you—for everything. I never thought I would get back in the OR again."

Dr. Jenkins smiled. "You are welcome, now go get some rest. Come Monday morning I should not see you yawning in my O.R." He joked.

I giggled throwing my bag over my shoulder. "No problem Dr. Jenkins see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend."

Before making my way to the parking garage, I ensured my gun was tucked securely on my side. Never in my 27 years of living I would ever come close to thinking carrying a gun with me 24/8.

I never thought I would have to take anxiety medications daily to avoid having a panic attack every day. With anxiety came fear—I was afraid of going to check my mailbox, any sudden movement or noise would send me into a spell. It took me almost two years to find some type of normalcy.

After living in fear in a little town outside of Georgia for two years—I finally took a leap of faith to create a better life. Living in fear was one of the worst experiences of my life thus far. Picking up the pieces after she destroyed me has been one of the hardest mental and emotional challenges I had to overcome.

The truth was she succeeded in breaking me. But I could not let her win—no matter how I hurt I was. I still had nightmares of her beating the fuck out of me, there were many nights I woke up prying away the illusory hands from around my neck. I could feel the imprint of her hands clasping down on my windpipe—putting me in a full panic attack mode.