Not a Dream | DNF

13.

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song recommendation: Bruises-Lewis Capaldi

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"So when did this start?"

"There is not a specific moment. Since little my parents would talk about my weight. So since I remember my mom would tell me that I have gained weight or that nobody wants someone fat. And over the past 4 years I started going on diets and somewhere along the way I just started skipping meals and yeah.."

"George I don't know if anyone has told you that before but you are perfect. No matter if you eat or not you are the same person and everyone can see that. You have become one of my best friends and I care about you."

"Thank you I appreciate it. Lately I have been thinking a lot. I don't think I have ever been enough for anyone. And honestly to this day I think that I will never be enough to anyone. You know a funny thing, the other day I was walking in the park and I saw a father and a child. The father was teaching the boy to ride a bike. When the kid finally got it and the father released his grip on the bike, he started cheering and he said something I never heard before from my parents.He said that he was so proud of the kid. I started crying, I know that sounds like I am sorry for myself and probably I just am putting stuff in my head, but when he said it something broke in me. Growing up my father was never really around he was always to busy with work so my mom raised me."

I felt my eyes water and soon tears rolling down my cheeks. He grabbed my hand and started talking.

"George you are not being sorry for yourself. I am no way a specialist but I think you are hurt more deeply than you think. And you sitting here eating a meal even tho I have seen how hard it can be is showing me just how strong you are and I don't give two fucks what anyone else thinks, because I think you are the best person I know. You are kind, funny and amazing. I am so proud of you!"

At the last sentence I completely broke down. Someone was proud of me. Someone finally said it. I stood up and went over to him to hug him. He was truly my best friend.

After that he insisted on paying and so he did. We left and he drove me home. I left his car and waited outside my house until he was sure I was in and safe.

I went up to my room and just threw myself onto the bed. I had opened up to Carter and I don't know what to do.

I took out my phone and saw a couple of messages from Clay.

Dumbass
You want to meet up?

Me
Yeah sure, if you want you can come over.

Dumbass
Be there in 10

I closed my phone and just stared at the ceiling. Ten minutes passed too fast and I heard a knock on the door.
I opened and let Clay in. He came in and looked me up and down and smiled.

"Is there an occasion for you being dressed up. I mean I don't complain. You look good by the way."

"I went to the arcade with Carter. We hung put and then went to a diner."

When I mentioned the diner I knew what was gonna ask.

"And yes I ate. He didn't pressure me to eat a lot cause he found out. And I decided it's time to open up."

"George, that is amazing! I am so happy you finally opened up. I am so proud of you!"

He hugged me and started spinning me in the air. We both laughed and for the first time in a while there was nothing else in the world that mattered.