Not a Dream | DNF

24.

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Song recommendation: Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

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When I woke up I was in bed. When i glanced at my side I saw that there was no one there. That made me sad, maybe he went home because his parents called him. I grab my phone but there are no new messages, that makes me want to cry. As I start to overthink  and my eyes start to water Clay enters the room with a tray covered with food.

He sees a tear rolling on my cheek.

"Ohhh, George why are you crying honey?"

"It's nothing, I just woke up and you weren't here so I thought ...I thought you left within leaving a message or anything."

"I want you to know that I will never do that, especially after last night!"

Clay places the tray on the bed next to me. And leans down pecking my lips and wiping away the tear.

I smile, what did I do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend.

"Clay I... ok I don't know how to say this. Clay I love you!" I barely whisper the sentence out.

Clay's smile just grows really big.

"George I love you too. I love you so much you can't even imagine. Here I made pancakes. I also made a fruit salad and some orange juice."

I look at the tray and I just force myself to keep my smile. Clay had made me pancakes and cooked for me and I didn't have the heart to tell him I am scared to eat and don't want to. I took the silverware and started cutting up the pancakes. I took a bite, while chewing the bite I couldn't stop thinking about the calories, so I just did always.

When my food problem started, Karl started to notice stuff so I found a way to hide it. All you have to do is make the person believe you ate part of the food and make them think they saw you doing it.

There were 2 plates on the tray so I give Clay 3 pancakes and I take two, I put some fruit salad on his plate and then a little bit on mine, just for color and the trick I am about to pull of.

The first step of the plan is to think of a debatable topic and something you can talk a lot about.

"So Clay did I tell you about what I thought the other day. So ok I was recently reminded of my childhood. I grew up in a closed apartment complex, which ment there were kids my age. And I grew up with two girls and two more boys, well technically one of the gorls moved so it was us 3."

The second step while blabbering you start cutting your food and just messeing it around in the plate.

"I was always closer with the girl, but just now when I was thinking about it did I realize I was just there for them to have someone to laugh at. I remember them getting something of mine and just running away with it and tossing it around."

The third step is to get the fork and grab a piece of the food and bring it up to your mouth. And just when you are about to eat it pause and get distracted with the conversation.

"You know, like how kids bully in movies. And I remember one day so clearly telling my mom about how they used to always pick me to be the one chasing or searching and how they didn't like me. And can you guess what she did. Exactly nothing, she told me that I was just imagining things and that I had to play with kids my own age. So I would always go out and get laughed at bullied or they just made me cry. And you know what else I realized the other day after remembering everything from my childhood. I realized with time we start to forget about how much hurt we felt in a situation and our memories are basically more pink then they actually were. That's like that one time, like couple parties ago when Sapnap walked in on-..."

I realized I started just spitting out whatever came in my mind so I cut myself off immediately.

"What did Sapnap walk into?"

"Oh nothing really. It was just funny because he walked in on two people on the bed, like doing stuff, and it was funny."

"Oh ok. But George are you ok? Kids can be mean. Have you ever told anyone about your childhood."

"No not really but Clay I am done with my food do you want me to take your plate to the sink with mine. It was delicious btw I am just not that hungry right now but I will finish it later."

He looked at my plate and nodded. My plan had worked. I grab the tray and bring it to the kitchen where I just place it down on the counter. I will deal with it later.

When I get into the room I see Clay getting dressed.

"Are you leaving?"

"I've got somethings I need to do today and later
tonight I will come by again. If you want me to of course."

"Of course I want you too. "

I kiss him for the last time before I let him go. I hear his footsteps getting away from my room and the distance getting bigger and bigger. Finally I hear the fron door shut.

I immediately go to my backpack where I pull a pack of cigarettes and light one. I really needed this.