Not a Dream | DNF

17.

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song recommendation:Line without a Hook-Ricky Montgomery

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"Hey you found him, great! Let's leave now. You guys can sleep at my place if you want my parents aren't home."

"Can you drive me home? I am just tired."

Clay looked a bit down but nodded. I got into the passenger seat and Sap sat at the back while Dream drove. He parked in-front of my house but I was exiting my keys fell under the seat. I turned on the lamp and bent down to get them.

"Good night guys." I said as i left the car.

The second I got in my house I went straight to my room. I changed and went to brush my teeth. But when I was in-front of the mirror. I saw that there were dark spots on my neck. I don't know what happened but the next thing I know was that I was on the floor crying my eyes out. I felt so disgusting and used.

I knew there was one thing that can take away all my pain away. So I grabbed the blade. As I laid in bed I was angry at myself because of what I did to my arm. It wasn't that bad. And honestly I just feel like I am maybe doing this because of attention I don't know.

That weekend all I did was stay in bed . I cut everyday and my appetite died. I didn't feel good so I just decided to hide from the world.

On Monday I put on some sweatpants and and a hoodie. I grabbed my bag and went out the front door.

I sat in my English class waiting for it to start. Sapnap entered the classroom and gave me a kind smile there was also pity in his smile.

Minute later Clay entered and sat at the front.Wait what? He sits next to me.

Me
Hey why did you sit there?

I see him look at his phone read the message and ignore it?

Did I do something? I messed something up. What did i do? Or maybe he just got annoyed by me like everyone else.

The lesson was spent with me thinking about what I did. Once the bell rang I quickly gathered my stuff and exited the classroom. I waited for Clay to come out.

"Hey can we talk?"

I asked him as he exited the classroom

"Ok, yeah" He replied.

We went to the back of the school as we always do.

"Are you mad at me? I mean did i do something?"

"No you didn't do anything."

He still wouldn't look at me.

"Then why can't you talk or even look at me? I did something and I have been trying to remember what I did."

He finally looked at me and our eyes met. He didn't look like his usual happy self. There was something  behind his eyes. Then for just a second he dropped his gaze to my neck and back up. I reached a hand and covered my neck.

"George ok listen. The other night at the party I noticed the hickeys on your neck and in all honesty. It makes me extremely jealous. Imagining another person kissing you the way I want to do so hurts a lot."

Does he like me? Does he feel the same way I do?

"Can I ask you something Clay?"

He nodded, so I took a deep breath a quickly asked the question.

"Do you like me as more than friends? It is totally fine if you don't and I just misunderstood what you ment."

"I like you George, a lot."

As I realized what he said I grabbed his neck and stood on my tippy toes. A second later I connected our lips. It felt amazing. My lips felt funny, but in a good way. When I felt him kiss back I smiled. The tingle in my lips didn't go away the whole time.