Not a Dream | DNF

22.

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Somg recommendation: Telephones- Vacations

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We stayed in each others embrase for 5 more minutes before dream pulled himself up.

"George can you please remove your hoodie?"

"Dream..."
"Please!"

I pulled it off and Dream gasped. I immediately rolled over and curled up.

"Baby, don't turn your back to me. I love you, let me take care of you. "

In that moment something made me turn so I did. He gently grabbed my wrists and started observing the cuts going down my arm from my shoulder to wrist. He gently trailed over them. Most of them were not that bad probably wouldn't leave a scar but some were a lot worse.

I felt like I had betrayed him. He didn't deserve someone like me. He deserves someone who will uplift him and make him smile, not someone who he needs to tip toe around and check up on.

"Clay, I don't deserve you! You have to be with someone who can make you happier and who isn't so pathetic that he can't even like himself. I am broken and I don't think I can be fixed."

I see the pain in his eyes. And I can't help but blame myself for being the reason he feels it.

"I don't think people are broken. They are not like a vase that can be broken. Everyone can heal, they just need medical help and a lot of support from the people that love you. And I love you! Hell, I love you more than myself. And I won't let you be alone. And I love you and only you, I want you, I need you. You are like the coffee I need every morning. Because without coffee I can't function, just like with you."

He doesn't even let me respond he just smashes his lips  into mine. I notice how gentle he is but how much passion and love is buried in that kiss. We keep kissing. It's amazing how such a simple thing can make me forget about everything and set me free in a way. The feeling of our lips moving is something that I can't put in words. It's the greatest feeling ever the burn and heat you feel everywhere he touches and the lightheaded feeling is astonishing.

When he finally lifts himself. He goes lower and starts to kiss my arm. He kisses every centimeter of my arm. He kept telling me how beautiful and handsome I was.

"I love you, Clay!"

He lifts his head up to look at me and I see him grinning like a kid on Christmas.

"I love you, George!"

That night he slept over, we hugged, cuddled, kissed and more. He held me all night. In his arms I felt happy, I felt alive. I cemented that night in my mind. Because this was my reason to continue.

In the morning at school we walked arm to arm down the hallways. Till we reached our lockers, Sapnap was already there. We talked for a while than it was time to go our to our separate classes.

Once the class was over I was so tired mentally I did what I always do.

Outside was a bit chilly, but that doesn't matter you don't feel cold when you are smoking. When my lips met the filter of the cigarette and inhaled, I immediately felt relaxed. It calmed me and made me forget everything for a second. It was a second of freedom that I loved and wanted.

I took my phone out after hearing it buzz with a new notification. It was from Clay asking me where i was. I shot a quick response before putting my phone away and enjoying my cigarette. I sat on the ground with my back against the wall. A few minutes later I look up to find Dream walking up to me. Just as I got up and put out the cigarette he reached me.

Without wasting a second he smashed his lips against mine with no warning. I could not help the sound that came out of me when I felt his hands roam around my ass and squeeze it. I got so lost we probably made out for 10 minutes before I pulled away. It was too late to go to class now so we decided to skip it.

Instead we went to a nearby cafe. I got coffee and he got a hot chocolate.

"You're such a kid, you know that?"

"Well yeah but you will like the taste of chocolate."

We sat down and I put a cigarette between my lips digging for the lighter in my pocket. In the span of a second I feel the cigarette get pulled from my lips. I immediately look up at Clay. Who is now leaning and pressing a quick peck on my lips before putting the cigarette between his lips.

I look at him dumbfounded.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to find the lighter so you can light me my cigarette. "

" Nahh, Clay what are you doing? You never smoke. You know this can kill you, so what are you doing?"

"Well if you can smoke daily then I can do as well."

"Uhh, no! You can't. Now give me back that shit."

"I can smoke just pass me the lighter."

"No I won't, I won't let you do that to yourself."

"Aha I see, then why are you doing this to yourself then."

"Please just give it back."

"You can't even answer my question why won't you let me light it, but you do it yourself?"

"Because, I love you!"

I basically yelled the sentence out. I just reached. over and grabbed the cigarette from him.

"Well I love you too. So I will not let you do this alone. You either give me a cigarette and we both
smoke or neither smokes, got it?"