so it begins ✔️

2016: is to end

M O O N

sometimes fate plays a funny trick on us. sometimes it wrecks you while other times it got you seeing something you didn't know it could ever happen. for me, it's someone, for me, it's iven.

through the vibrant colors of the lights around the room, through hundreds of people coming here to see my paintings- there he stands, with his dark brown hair just the same but a lot longer and an olden face with a hopeful look on his eyes, dark as they pull, mighty as they trail.

i recognize him right away, so does he.

I V E N

she at first was introducing the paintings to possible buyers, she was smiling, laughing and she was beaming. her light brown hair falling, her blue eyes twirling like a ballerina dancing with all of her joy. i'm glad that she's happy, she does deserve it so much. she finally found her wings and i feel happy for her, i knew she could do it.

she recognizes me right away she looks at me like how she used to do when we were both thirteen.

M O O N

i thought my eyes were lying to me, i thought he couldn't be here. then i see him, then he sees me and all it once, i saw us in the room, stillness yet i feel the yearning, i feel the joy coming, i feel the love and i pray for promises of him feeling the same.

I V E N

she was smiling and now she wasn't. i might have made a mistake on coming back into her life after two years. she deserves to be happy, i think of things that can prove that coming here after a long time is a bad idea. especially now cause she looked so happy and now she's there, did i make a mistake on coming back?

is my need to tell her that i still love her and i got her letter recently bigger than her happiness?

M O O N

i didn't know how he came here. but he's here. and nothing was just the same. he came and i was happy, he is my happiness.

I V E N

people are calling her names, over and over. asking her about the paintings but she's looking at me, and i was at her.

i should leave, this is a bad idea.

M O O N

no iven, don't leave.

...

☾☏☾

"iven, no! don't leave, iven!"
"i'm sorry."
"why? no, please- don't leave, it's okay."
"i shouldn't have come here especially without a warning and all, i'll leave. i'm sorry again, moon. for everything."

"NO, iven, jesus, can you please listen to me for one second, please that's all i'm asking."
"i'm sorry for intruding, your mom didn't tell me it was your opening day, and i just- i'm really sorry."
"iven...the opening is the least thing i care about right now."

silence.

"i got your letter."
"which one?"
"the last one you sent me."
"i..i don't get it. it was like 2 years ago."
"i got it recently. oliver didn't show it to me. i found out."
"oh."

stillness.

"so, you found out.."
"yeah, i'm- i'm sorry, for everything. i wish i found the letter 2 years ago, i just,"
"so why were you leaving?"
"huh?"
"you were about to leave the opening. why? you came from all the way to here, just to leave?"
"i realized i shouldn't have come here."
"why?"
"because i saw you smiling and then you weren't. the last thing i want is to take away your happiness, moon."

realizations.

"iven...my happiness is you. you know that, right?"
"how could you say i'm your happiness after literally putting you through things you didn't deserve ever?"
"you had a normal reaction, i was a bad friend to you, i left you and i didn't, i didn't let you know-.."
"but i didn't know you were going through this and i judged you still. you deserved so much and i just,"
"iven.."

old memories.

"do you know the first time we ever talked?"
"the emails?"
"yeah. you reached out to me, congratulating me for doing well on the exam."
"and i'm so glad that i did. because, because- for you, i got to know a worthwhile friendship, thank you so much for that."

colliding flashbacks.

"do you know, the first time, i looked at you?"
"2nd grade?"
"1st. you were there painting with your fingers and- i knew, you were gonna mean something to me."
"that's corny."
"a little bit but, it's true."

then silence.

"you were the only for me, moon. you are the only girl i ever loved, i, of course, didn't know but i think i did, i just- didn't know if it was okay or that's what love is suppose to feel like."
"what does love feel like?"

then the beginning.

"this."

then lips crashing, colors flowing and everything.

M O O N

sometimes, the colors in paintings, they gather in the paper. to play its own parts to make a beautiful painting, something eye catching and heart yearning. as much as there's the colors who brings out the best, there's colors which come without any expectations, brings confusions on how to paint it and make a beautiful picture with the given colors. me and iven's friendship was like that too, little did we know, we would be here in this position, loving as we know it. messy but pure.

he says after the colors explosions of our kiss , "i'm sorry for everything, i promise from now on, i'll be whatever you want me to be, and i promise to not ever make you feel like you are a burden, because you are not, at all. that is, if you want me to."
"are you kidding? i didn't get to have you for ten years, i'll make sure to have you forever."
he gives me a warming smile and after ten years of not seeing it, i realize my heart belongs with iven.
"i promise you another thing."
"as in?" i ask.
then he walks away from my embrace and stands in an unusual way and says, "hi, i'm iven jameson, your name is?"
i chuckle, the happiness around us filter more more as i see this new chapter of my life begins, with someone i loved my whole life, now i get to do it knowingly and freely, without anything to be worried about.
"nice to meet you, iven. i'm moon, like the round ball thing in the sky."

then we look at each other and so we smile.

our story stays like a fully finished painted picture.

love as it goes,

for brush to color

love as it goes,

for the canvas to be full filled

love as it goes,
two hearts to
to begin
is to end.

the end. ✍︎︎