His secret

Chapter 17

The last three weeks have been incredible, almost too good to be true. Miles and I have finally made our relationship and real feelings for each other an official thing. He hired a truck last week and helped me move my stuff into his penthouse after he asked me to move in with him for real. At first, I hesitated because we'd only been together for a few weeks but then I came to think of our long friendship and that I've known him for several years and I've slept over at his house several times during those years so what difference would it make if I moved in with him? So I agreed and now I officially live with him and sleep on the same bed as him at night. 

Besides the moving, we've also been up to some entertainment together. Our typical movie nights have been a big part of it but this time we watched them as a couple, cuddled up together and kissing between scenes. Going out to fancy restaurants, however, seems to be Miles's favorite thing to do on a date where he spends most of his time watching me eat instead of eating up his food himself. The first two times it happened I was extremely uncomfortable about it but when I approached him about it his answer made me enjoy my meals more while he watched me eat. He told me that he sees some kind of excitement in my eyes when I eat that he has never seen in anybody else eyes. It is a rare type of excitement and the only way that he might feel that excitement is by seeing it in my eyes, and that made him more full and satiated than any food could. And I realized that his words were true. I barely ever see Miles smile but every time I glance up at him while we're somewhere out eating I catch a little grin that his probably not aware of because I'm pretty sure he would wash it off if he knew about it. Sometimes I feel like he's made a promise to somebody to never ever smile or be happy and I'm very eager to change that. 

Everything has been perfect except for two things that have been bothering me. I've still not told Miles about me saving myself for marriage. We've been cuddling a lot but I always manage to come up with an excuse to get out of his arms before things escalate and I have to explain myself. So far I haven't found myself in the position to decline him which I'm thankful for because I would've just chickened out. I really don't know how he would react. What if finds me pathetic and laughs at me? Or even worse if he thinks that I'm indirectly asking him to marry me. And the other thing that's bothering me is that I still don't know a thing about his family and that's a thing I am determined to take care of today when he gets back home from work. Until then I keep myself busy with the novels Miles brought home from his publishing company that I recently found out about. I still don't know why he never mentioned it to me earlier. 

I've never been a big fan of reading but Miles told me that it would be helpful to get an extra opinion on some of the recent novels that they got in for publishing so brought home five different ones and told me to get busy with them. I don't know much about Miles's workplace but I am sure that there are enough workers to give opinions on the novels. He really thinks that he's being slick, but I know that he only brought them to make me too busy to try and cock him a decent meal for when he gets home because he thinks that my food is not eatable at all. Bringing home the novels the day after I cooked for him and he had to run to the toilet immediately and take it out made it very obvious too. But I don't tell him anything, instead, I try to read them and give an honest opinion about them because I have nothing else to do whiles he's working, which reminds me again that I'll have to get a job. I don't have to pay rent anymore, Miles took care of my old apartment as soon as I moved in with him. And he also tells me that I do not have to work because the money that he is making is enough for both of us. But I insist on finding a job though because I don't like to just sit at home waiting for him all day, it makes me feel useless and I hate being useless. 

Hours fly by as I read a few chapters of the novel in my hands called "Secrets between the walls of the palace". I feel the tears streaming down my cheek, caused by the heartbreaking words on these papers. Who could have thought that a book could make one cry? Never underestimate the power of a book I guess. I note for myself to tell Miles that he really should publish this one as I start feeling hungry. I reach for my phone on the other side of the sofa to look at the clock, It's just seven pm which means that Miles won't be home until another two hours and I'm getting really hungry so waiting for him to come home and cook something or bring something with him is simply not an option. I unlock my phone and try to find something I'd like to order. Twenty minutes go by and I still couldn't choose between all the foods that I'd like to have. I'm very impossible when I'm hungry because I start craving everything I see and even things I don't come across at the moment, I can start thinking about something I eat two years ago and start craving it. While looking through several take-out restaurants I come to think about how easy it is to make all of those things at home, so how come I have such a big problem making them? I mean how hard can it be to make a hamburger at home for instance? I really think that I could be an expert at cooking if people around me gave me a chance to do it without trying to stop me every time as if I'm trying to kill somebody.