Love in North

The Truth Untold III; TUAZON

cw// mention of characters death

Tuazon -

"Why are you here?" Tanong ko kay Czarina nang puntahan niya ako sa condo ko. I was expecting Nezer and Oli but she came. I left her at the door frame and quickly go straight to the kitchen dahil kakagising ko lang. It's not even days since our argument yet she's here now.

"Let's fix us, Ace." Nabasag agad ang boses niya habang nakatayo sa hindi kalayuan sakin. Nakatitig lamang siya doon at kagat ang labi na nagpipigil ng hikbi. It hurts. It still hurts seeing her like this.

"Are you sure, Czarina? You can still treat me all the same after knowing that I already have a son?"

"I don't care about your past. Mahal kita Ace, sobra pa sa sobra. I'll love your son like he's mine--"

"You'll still love me even if I tell you that I'm losing my grip to you?" Deretsa ko. I don't want to cloud her with lies that would only break her deeper and I can't even promise to hold her tightly when that happens.

I saw horror in her eyes as she stared at me with her wide eyes and bucket of tear and mouth agape indicating her shock reaction.

"You're going to leave me now..?" Muli na namang nabasag ang boses niya kasabay ng pagtalikod niya sakin at tahimik na paghagulhol. Base sa taas at baba ng kanyang balikat ay maya-maya lang ay maaari na ulit itong mapaluhod katulad noong una ko siyang nakausap nang tahakin niya ang daan papuntang restroom.

Hindi ako nakakibo. Hindi ko na alam ang tuluyan kong gagawin. I still love her but I know it's not the same anymore. I know North is owning my whole soul now.

"Please don't. Huwag mo 'kong iwan, Ace. Let's try.. you're just confused about it so let's fix and try again. Nagmamakaawa ako sayo I-I can do better than this.." pagmamakaawa niya habang nakayakap sakin. Mabilis ang pangyayare o sadyang naokyupa lang ang isip ko.

"Oh shit. Sorry!" Gulat na sigaw ni Nezer nang mahuli niya kami sa kusina. He quickly ran to my guest room to give us some privacy but it also kinda messed up. He just caught us kissing that moment where Cza initiated it.

Hindi ko napigilang hindi siya ilayo sakin sa mabilis niyang ginawa ngayon lamang. I feel so embarrassed that Nezer caught us. Hindi niya alam na nagkakalabuan na kami pero pakiramdam ko hindi na ako ang nakikita ng kaibigan ko kanina lang. I'm not Czarina's Ace anymore.

"Please stop. We're not this low, Czarina." Bulong ko sa kanya at mariin na napapikit at napabuntong hininga.

"Low? Ace, nakikinig mo ba ang sarili mo? Kissing is part of us mapa-trabaho man natin o personal na gawain! Hindi mo na ba talaga ako mahal? Y-You can't even pretend to like the things you love to do with me before."

"It's not the same phase and it will never be. We can still go on--" i said.

Nagulat ako nang mahigpit niya akong yakapin even crumbling my night pajamas like she's doesn't want to let go. But I stopped her since she needs to hear my other words. "We can still go on but learn to let go of me slowly. Bitawan mo na ako paunti-unti. I can't keep you, I can't gatekeep you to everyone dahil hindi naman talaga ako ang makakapagbigay sayo ng tunay mong nararapat na maranasan na pagmamahal."

"You are My enough—"But you're not Mine's. There's no one new but I'm sorry I lost my track to you."

Akala ko noon sigurado na ako pero in the very middle of my life, hindi pa pala. Maaaring sigurado ako noon sa kanya pero hindi ngayon, hindi bukas, hindi sa mga susunod na araw, buwan o taon.