Miraculous Incorrect Quotes 2

85

There was this one thing we used to do in our discord server, it was basically:

Shut yo brain off, type a word, and let your keyboard suggestions do the rest.

Which ends up making zero sense these days.

But I thought it would be fun to try it out.

And since I'm out travelling today (to another fucking state, that's like, 7 states away from the one I live in) so there's that too.

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Words:

Adrien

Marinette

Cheese

Plagg

Gabriel

Rainbow farts

Unicorn shit

Yodelling hand puppets

Puking on a cake.

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Lemme see what you got for these.

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Speaking of travelling, the train I'm in and the neighbours I have in the compartment would be the very definition of chaos.

There are 7 babies.

7 fucking babies around me.

we dON'T EVEN HAVE THAT MANY SEATS IN ONE PART OF THE COACH.

THEN, THERE WAS THIS ONE INDIAN AUNTY WOMAN, WHO THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO CUT ONIONS ON A TRAIN.

(non-Indians, for us, train journeys are just one way to do whatever the fuck you didn't get time to do earlier.)

(she was making bhel, which is a dish that involves baked rice thingies? Basically, you add onions on top.)

AND FOR A WHOLE HOUR I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES.

THEN, THERE WAS A BABY HANGING OFF A RAILING ON TOP, AND THE MOM DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER.

THE CHILD HAD HER DIAPER-COVERED BUTT PRACTICALLY ON DISPLAY WHILE HANGING OFF A RAILING.

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It's been a whole hour since I wrote that (I went to have dinner), and the situation is now worse.

There is one less kid since his family left a while ago, but dear fucking god.

This one child yeeted a bottle at my head from the top (I got the lowest of the three tiers on the train), and I was like

wow.

It has been way too long since I had a bottle thrown on my head.

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good lord, now, there's tHREE KIDS WHO'RE CRYING LIKE BITCHES AND IDK WHY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?

THIS ONE MIDDLE-AGED DUDE, WHO HAS NO RELATIONS WITH LITERALLY ANYONE ON THIS WHOLE FUCKING TRAIN, WHO'S TRYING TO CALM THESE LIL SHITS DOWN,

BY SINGING THEM A VERY OFF-KEY LULLABY.

AND I THINK IT'S JUST SCARING THEM MORE

BECAUSE NOW THEY'RE CRYING EVEN MORE.

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now there's a kid who's butt naked. And for some reason, he's running around the whole length of the train and I am losing all faith in the next generation.

Indian train journeys are chaos.

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...I just saw a kid jumping on his sleeping dad's stomach.

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a kID JUST SPAT OUT WHATEVER FOOD HER MOM FED HER ON MY SEAT.

THIS IS WHY I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE KIDS.

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When will these pieces of shit sleep. At this point, their crying voices are louder than the ones in my head that usually prompt me to eat oreos and mayonnaise at 3 am.

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King Monkey: so what's for lunch?

Pegasus: food, usually.

King Monkey: no, like, what are we having?

Pegasus: an unwanted conversation.

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7 minutes after publishing this:

I saw a kid yeet his mouth toy into another kid's feeding bowl.

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I also saw this one kid eating one of those packaged cakes/brownies, and he just up and threw that whole thing on a seat.

Why?

Because iDK?

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...remember that kid that threw the bottle on my head?

Yeah, that kid threw a chip on my face now.

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That moment when train-kid shenanigans are so many that you have to republish the chapter after adding mORE OF THOSE SHENANIGANS.