134 - Scuba Diving

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[edit: I THOUGHT I'D PUBLISHED THIS CHAPTER YESTERDAY, SO WHEN I WOKE UP TO JUST 78 NOTIFICATIONS, I WAS LIKE, OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED.

AFTER AN IQ CHAPTER, YOU GUYS ARE USUALLY NOT KIND ENOUGH TO SPAM ME WITH ANY NUMBER LESS THAN 150.]

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Because I went scuba diving the other day and I have a lot of ideas.

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Here's a bit of basics to understand this further: it's very difficult to go below a certain depth because of air pressure, physics, bla bla yada yada, yOUR EARS HURT THATS IT.

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Ladybug

-stayed underwater for the longest time solely because she wanted to last longer than Chat.

-when she got back up, and saw the footage of her with the oxygen mask on, the first thing she says is, "...is that what I looked like."

-hint: she looked like a diabetic pufferfish.

-touched the ground and immediately starts to look for shells to keep but accidentally screams in excitement during the process and is forced back up because she just gulped down what could possibly be 7 small fishes and a MASSIVE pint of salt water.

Chat Noir

-ironically, water is his element.

-didn't even feel the pain, he was as normal underwater as he was above.

-forgot all about the fishes and started looking for spongebob.

-his guides had to work their ass off trying to drag him back to the course so he doesn't get lost in the middle of the aTLANTIC OCEAN.

-went to the ocean bed to look for seagrass just so he could refute Rena's conversation ender, "you should touch some grass."

-cried for an hour and a half when she told him seagrass doesn't count.

Rena Rouge

-refuses to go scuba diving because she's shit scared.

-when she finally entered the water, she was TERRIFIED of the fish.

-absolutely rejects spreading her hands or feet because what if she touched the fish, wHAT IF SHE ACCIDENTALLY KILLED THE FISH.

-so for the entirety of her underwater footage, she was as still as a mummy, with the only noticeable movement being her BREATHING.

-also came back up without going in too deep because she said her ears hurt to the point she started to auditorily hallucinate her mom screaming at her to go to school.

-"If I die, tell my mom I miss her.$

"you're not going to die, Rena."

"IF I DIE TELL MARINETTE TO KEEP UPDATING THE LADYBLOG, SHE KNOWS THE PASSWORD."

"you're not going to die, Rena."

"iF I DIE, TELL MARINETTE THAT SHE'S AUTHORIZED TO TAKE OVER THAT LADYNOIR FANFIC I'VE BEEN PUBLISHING EVERY SATURDAY, SHE KNOWS THE PASSWORD, AND AS FOR THE PLOT, IT'S GOTTEN RIGHT TO THE POINT WHERE THEY KISS AFTER BATTLING TO DEATH, TELL HER THAT THE REST OF THE STORY DRAFTS ARE IN MY SECRET LOCKER BACK HOME, MAKE SURE SHE GETS IT."

"you're not going to–what."

Carapace

-feels home at the ocean.

-was very skeptical at first but the second he went inside and saw the lil fishes HE LOVED IT.

-the guides had to yank him out of a group of cuddling turtles because he just wouldn't come out of his own accord.

-also because his oxygen was starting to run out.

-"pls let me stay here I don't wanna go back to that psychopathic team they've given me ptsd."

-the team's given him ptsd.

-they did that, all on the pretext of #ninoisnino

-#ninoisnolongernino

-#ninoisniNO.

-#ninoisTRAUMATIZED.

Queen Bee

-there was no equipment fancy enough to protect her hair so she wore an astronaut suit underwater.

-she drowned.

-had to forcibly let go of the $25 million spacesuit because it was not very ocean-friendly.

-finally settled for the diving suit.

-"RIIDICUBURUGUUGGUUGUFUFH!"

–Chloe bourgeois, underwater, 2023.

-hates the ocean now.

-"DADDY, I WANT YOU TO BAN ALL OCEANS FROM EXISTING."

"Chloe, darling, I'm the mayor, not the fucking god."

-tried to grab a few fish to keep them as pets but the guides swatted her hand away.

-Chloe hates the guides.

-the fishes also swatted her hand away.

-Chloe hates the fish.

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🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

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Chat: Hello, 911?

Chat: Yes, hi, I accidentally stepped on my cat's tail and I need to be arrested.

911 operator: sir, we've talked about this.

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