Dancing Shadows

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ellowyn's POV-
   Even once I'm outside getting checked out by the EMTs, I can't get that moment to quit replaying in my mind. The moment I saw the decay begin to creep up Katsuki's arm. The moment I shot darkness straight at Kaneko. The moment his eyes were suddenly empty and his body collapsed to the floor. The moment he died.

   No, the moment I killed him. There is a difference.

   I'm startled out of my thoughts when Katsuki gently taps my shoulder. I look up at him to see that he's looking much better than before. He asks the person checking me out to leave us for a moment. They tell me that I seem to be in good shape, before excusing themselves. He takes a seat next to me on the back of the ambulance. There's a long moment of silence before he finally says, "The kids are doing okay. Ryu is actually the one who healed me. Jeanist is making arrangements for them to live under the care of another pro, likely Aizawa or All-Might."

   I nod, my mind still feeling foggy. I can't get the look in that man's eyes out of my head. I killed him. I ended someone's life. The silence resumes. Eventually, Katsuki takes his hand in mine before quietly murmuring, "I know what you're thinking and it's not true." I scoff and am about to respond when he continues, "I didn't really come over here to give you an update on the kids. I came over here to apologize and say thank you."

   I don't understand. "Why?"

   He avoids my gaze as he says, "I'm sorry I charged into that fight without thinking it through. You never would've had to do what you did if I hadn't. And thank you for saving my life. I really didn't think I was going to make it out of there alive for a minute."

   I feel my bottom lip quiver as tears fill my eyes, threatening to spill. I jokingly respond, "Yeah, of course. I'll always be around to save you, Katsuki."

   He smiles a bit as he replies, "Good, because I get myself into a fuck ton of trouble."

...

   That night, Jeanist asks me to meet with him in his office before we head to our rooms for the night.

   Once I take a seat at his desk, he doesn't hesitate to ask me, "What happened to you up there when you fought with Kaneko?"

   I swallow the knot in my throat as I reply, "I don't know. When I looked into Katsuki's eyes and I only saw fear, I just acted without thinking. I thought he was going to die."

   He asks, "You were frightened?" I nod. "Similar to the night of the ball when you hit Monoma?" I nod again. "And similar to the day you attacked Zachary Scott?"

   I flinch at the sound of his name. Feeling both shocked and defensive I ask, "How do you know about that?"

   "When I saw you at the UA ball, I saw dangerous potential. I saw someone who needed help mastering control, similar to Bakugou, except what he needed his was in regard to anger rather than fear. But before I requested to have you do a work study here, I decided to look into your records."

   "You looked at my private records!" He knows, he knows, he knows.

   "Ellowyn, we both know that those specific records are incredibly public."

   I feel like I'm suffocating under his gaze. My chest begins to hurt as it grows tighter. I want to get out of this room. "Sir, what's your point?"

   "My point is that your quirk was awoken by fear. You only seem to use your quirk to its fullest extent when you feel fear. Because of this, you lose control when you are afraid and you have no control over your full power the rest of the time."

   "I already know this!" I snap. "That's why I've been doing quirk training with Katsuki."

   "Have you ever used your quirk to its fullest extent during those training sessions?"