Dancing Shadows

Chapter Thirty-Two

Ellowyn's POV-
   After we all go out to eat, Bakugou and I go back to his dorm room. He spends a few hours helping me with my homework and then we play video games until it's later at night and we decide to start winding down. I'm laying against him while drawing in my sketchbook while he reads some book about quirk training strategies and we listen to music together. A while later, I'm almost done with the drawing I'm working on when he suddenly asks, "Have you ever had sex?"

   I'm obviously surprised by the question. "What?"

   I can tell he's nervous when he scratches the back of his neck. "I know it's personal and I don't even know why I want to know because I don't give a fuck either way, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since Raccoon Eyes asked you yesterday. It just feels weird that you already know I haven't and I don't know if you have or not."

   He's still avoiding making eye contact with me as I say, "It's okay. You don't need to explain yourself. It's understandable that you are curious." The only problem is that I don't know how the answer to his question. I mean, I'm not a virgin but that's not the question he asked. He asked if I've had sex, which is different. What happened to me wasn't sex, it was rape. They aren't the same. "The answer to your question is no."

   He doesn't seem to feel a certain way about the answer. He just nods, seemingly satisfied with simply receiving any answer at all. "Okay."

   After a long moment of silence, I have to ask, "Are you asking because you want to?"

   He immediately says, "No!"

   "So you don't want to have sex with me?"

   "Yes! Wait, no." He shakes his head as he clarifies, "I mean, I do want to have sex with you at some point, just not now. I'm not there." He pauses before asking, "Are you?"

   "No, I feel the same way you do." There's another beat of silence but I can tell we are both getting more comfortable, even though we are being vulnerable with each other.

   "I only asked because of last night. Also, you told me that I wasn't your first kiss."

   "That's true. I had a girlfriend in middle school."

   "I know. I saw in your interview."

   "You saw it?"

   "Well, yeah. You seemed really proud of it." He seems uncomfortable talking about how he actually did something nice, so I'm not surprised when he quickly changes the subject. "I have another question. What do you think about marriage?"

   I think for a moment before saying, "I don't think you have to get married to be happily in love with someone, but I think it's a beautiful way to say you don't ever want to stop loving them."

   He nods in agreement as he replies, "I know that it can end horribly, but the idea of vowing to love someone and be there for them for the rest of your life is nice."

   Another moment of silence passing before I ask, "What about kids?" I decide to just start ticking off the important questions while we're talking about them.

   "I don't feel too strongly either way. All I know is if I ever do have kids, I don't want to be the type of parent who is too busy to see their kid, which means I'll need to wait until I'm satisfied with my career."

   "You mean, until you're number one?"

   He nods. "I don't want my goals to get in the way of making my kids my number one priority if I do have them. And you?"

   "I've always wanted kids, but I agree with you. I don't want to have kids before I'm able to give them a good life."

   We continue to talk late into the night about anything and everything. It doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. It feels normal and honest. Eventually, it's really, really late and we both begin to feel tired. When I yawn yet again, Bakugou repeats himself for the third time. "We really should go to sleep. We-"