Kea Am'a

2-1:Kämungänge ta Txe'lan Pxeyä

I flew to a place with waterfalls, not far from Omatikaya territory. Tìve'ki made a rumbling chirp which was meant to try and cheer me up but I said the truth that I had been trying to avoid. I'm a fool to think he'd love me.

I ruminated on these thoughts until I heard the cry of Tsam'uk.

He flew over head and I heard a thump nearby. I turned to find a distraught Tsu'tey.

"You must have questions." He said. "I have my own. Can I ask them?" He looked at me with such sensitivity, he looked like he might cry.

I nodded and patted Tìve'ki to go and give us some privacy. Her warmth left with her as I sat at the waterfall's edge.

"I-" Tsu'tey stumbled on his words, "this is embarrassing."

"It is."

"I want- can you? I... am a mess. My life has been a mess. Ever since Sylwanin passed, I've felt guilty about being betrothed to Neytiri and feeling things for you. I do care for you, I see you, but I'm not certain if this is love." He explained softly. I looked at him, trying to figure out what's going on in his head. He cares for me? No man cares for me. I am a fool, a fuck-up, an demon in a body made without a womb.

"Please believe me. I think I'm in love with you." He pressed his warm hand against my shoulder comfortingly, softly.

"Please say something?" He smiled just a little.

"You think you're in love with me. You do not. No man loves me. No man will ever love me." I got up and hissed. I walked a meter or so away.

"Sanuì, I love you! I'm saying it now and I mean it. This fool wants to bury these feelings away, but I feel something strong between us." He stood too.

"No! No... no na'vi loves me." I frown deeply. The memories of what they did to me when they heard about the attack on the school flooded back with each building tear. They tore me of my clothes, my honor, they cut my hair, they injured me. I would pay for the death of their children. And I paid with my dignity and innocence. The warrior I had thought cared about me was just another man like the humans. He was most human in the way he forced himself on me. It went against everything the clan believed in, no one had the will to stop him, no one had the eyes to see my suffering.

"No! Just get away from me!" I tried to run, but instead, I fell into the water below. I didn't want to try and surface. Maybe if I stay here in the water, he'll think I'm dead and leave me alone.

I heard a cry and something hit the water. He pulled me up onto the shore regardless if I wanted to be there or not.

"Careful, carefully." He said in a hushed voice. He sat up watching me carefully, not asking me to do anything, not touching me until there was a sign that he needed to or that I wanted him to.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you. I am not ready to feel someone else's love for me. When my sister left. A man did something bad to me. It was against everything they taught me. But they didn't help me." I turned away.

—————Tsu'tey's POV—————

She had been taken with out her permission. It's not even mating, it's just... horrific. I want to make her comfortable, take away the pain. What she speaks of is something I can hardly fathom.

"How do I help you?"

She turned and laid on her side, facing me. She sat up and she flowed dimly.

"Can I have your hand?"

An odd request, but I lend it to her. She slowly, intertwined our hands together. Her face was twisted in a pained, mournful expression.

"Even if this terrible thing haunts me, this feels right. I know what happened wasn't my fault, and they're all long gone. I'm just not comfortable with what comes with love. Mating, uh that part. Intimacy."

I felt this need to protect her from these memories. Keep her safe from sorrow, from pain.

"I don't need intimacy, Sanuì. I want you to know that I love you, even if you don't feel it too. And even if we were to be mated, intimacy isn't part of it. It can be, but not for all people." I stroke her hand with my knuckles softly, soothingly.

"You aren't bad, you aren't a demon, you aren't undesirable to me. I care about who you are, inside. I See you."

"I See you, Tsu'tey." Her face scrunched up as her eyes squeezed the tears out from her sad, beautiful eyes. There a deeper layer to her that I'm only seeing now as she unravels before me. I wipe her tears away as she scoots a little closer. Burying her head into my shoulder.

"It's okay..." I whisper into her loose hair. I'm sad and angry for her. Her sister left her, left her to true demons, broken people who ruined her sense of trust and self, and then she still searched for her sister that abandoned her. How cruel.
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He held me for hours before I could pull myself together and I let him take me back home.

Together, we fell asleep in his large hammock, warm, bundled together. Cuddling in a way that was meant for couples.