So just pull the trigger.

47. I remember

It was very early morning when Misha arrived back at the house. Grandma was awake and Misha wondered if she had slept at all. Had any of them? Ivo and Jami came downstairs pretty soon after he stepped inside.

Grandmother made coffee and offered breakfast, which Misha agreed to eat even though he had no appetite. He explained the situation, explained that Joni was in pretty good physical condition considering the circumstances, but that he wanted to return home as soon as he was allowed.

The situation felt difficult. Misha knew that for Grandma, Yegor's death was harder than the woman would ever admit out loud. And he hadn't been able to comfort the woman in the midst of his own worries and now... it felt bad to leave like this and at the same time he wanted to be supportive for Joni. It was natural that Joni wanted a home after all that had happened.

Packing was done quickly.

"If anything is left behind, we'll bring them with us," Ivo assured. "We'll stay here for another couple of nights," he had added when Anna was not listening. "I'm trying to entice Grandma to come with us, she shouldn't be alone now, but we'll see..."

Misha nodded. They had invited their grandmother to visit often before, but she rarely did, the last time was a couple of years ago.

Misha hugged her for a long time in the hallway. "Are you going to be alright? I'll visit as soon as I get the chance," he whispered.

"Oh, my dear boy, I'll be fine, I promise. Don't worry about me. Joni needs you more now. " Anna touched his cheek tenderly and tilted her head to face his gaze. The smile was soft and gentle. "True love defies all storms, remember that. And time will heal the wounds, at least enough for one to be able to live with them. There will come an easier time for you both. " 

Misha gritted his teeth together and nodded. Easier time? He had hoped that they had already reached an easier time, before all this and now they had to start the healing all over. Misha planted a kiss on the woman's forehead.

"I remember," he promised.

Misha had already come to the car when Ivo followed him out.

"Wait, have you seen the news yet?" His brother asked in a serious voice.

"No?" He said questioningly. Ivo got closer with his cell phone in his hand and lifted the phone for Misha to see. It was on the front page of one of the tabloids. Pictures of Chris and Aki, the same ones that were used to search for them. Misha glanced through the news topics, feeling an uncomfortable tightness in his chest; "The kidnapping drama of a young Finnish man has been solved.... The victim of the abduction was delivered to hospital...One of the culprits was shot to death by the police, the other found dead."

Misha looked up at Ivo. He knew how Joni would react to this if he found out. Not everyone might be able to make the connection of Chris's image with Joni, but it would just take a few who could and it would be enough to make the gossip spread. "Fuck," Misha cursed. Ivo dropped his phone.

"I thought you should know. I don't know, I guess Joni needs to know about this, but... "

"Not yet." Misha agreed. "Thank you Ivo. We'll know to keep the radio mute. "

Ivo touched his brother's shoulder. "It will work out. Joni is... He's a survivor. " Ivo tried to comfort him.

Misha gritted his teeth and nodded. He wanted to turn back time to prevent this whole nightmare from happening. "At least those bastards are dead. That's the only thing that satisfies me in all this shit. " And at the same time, Misha knew that even though Chris was dead, he would still be a ghost that would haunt Joni's dreams. It could hardly be prevented.