So just pull the trigger.

23. Rough night?

The Christmas party with his old work colleagues hadn't gone as well as he had hoped. Chris had assumed that Thomas wouldn't be working there anymore, that he would have returned to Texas, but the man had settled in Canada permanently.

Others had welcomed him well, except Thomas who had also had a fling with Leo and who had met Joni on his visit to Canada. He brought out the rumors that he had heard. The situation was awkward, to say the least, and when Thomas noticed getting the upper hand he just got more fueled up and asked if Chris wanted to silence him up as well with his fists. Perhaps Chris only liked beating up those who were younger and more fragile? He had asked. He suggested that especially the female workers should watch their mouths near Chris because one couldn't be certain if he just looked for a new victim for his rage. The same warning he gave to Leo and two other younger male employees among them, Chris could just get his thrill from random beating.

Others had tried to calm the situation, Leo did his best, but the atmosphere had turned unpleasant beyond repair. Finally, Chris saw it best to go home before he lost his temper and attacked Thomas, which had been close. Leo later tried to contact him, but Chris didn't care to reply, he was both depressed and stressed about the situation.

The December evening was rainy and dark and Chris didn't feel like going home. He ended up in a small pub and ordered himself a beer. There was a small group of other customers, middle-aged men and one woman whose cackling laughter tightened Chris's nerves even further.

There was a curling match on TV and the bartender watched it keenly. Another lonely man sat in front of the bar like Chris, the man stared at his pint looking quite depressed. Chris guessed that the man was around fifty and pondered if that was him in twenty years, or maybe his future was in that alcoholic group on his left, on the other hand; at least they had each other.

He took his cell phone from his pocket. Leo had sent an apologetic text concerning Thomas' behavior, but Chris didn't feel like replying. Soon he was reading old messages from Joni and wondered what he was doing at that time; it was early morning in Finland, and perhaps he was still sleeping. Chris felt his anxiety growing, life felt hard and he didn't know when things would ease. He took a big gulp from his pint, looking around.

The cackling woman fell into the arms of one man, perhaps it was calculated and the man gave a kiss on her neck, grasping her breasts with both hands. The woman continued her annoying laughter, and Chris snorted. For a moment his eyes met with the older lonely man who looked back at him with a serious look on his face before raising his pint to him attempting some sort of smile.

Chris didn't want to end up like that man, but in a way, he was already heading in that direction. He emptied his pint and headed outside. The wind had turned colder and the rain felt like ice against his face. He walked, not having a clear direction in mind, but soon he found himself at Ryan's door.

Without being very confident to find him at home, Chris rang the doorbell. He was almost about to turn to leave when the door opened. "You're out late," Ryan took note. Chris looked at the younger man who stood there in his underwear and smiled before beckoning him inside.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Chris muttered when stepping inside. His coat dropped water on the floor.

"Don't worry, I was only just thinking about going to bed, but honestly I'm not even tired," Ryan assured and turned to walk into the kitchen. Chris looked after him confused, but Ryan soon returned with a small towel. "Here, if you like to dry your face." He said when handing him the towel. "Rough night?" He inquired leaning against the near wall.

Chris glanced at him, allowed his gaze to study Ryan's near-naked form more carefully and Ryan couldn't help but grin. "I think I know what would help you?" He said and moved closer after Chris had undressed his coat and placed it on the hanger.