serendipity

39

" But there are times I am happy " She added while looking at you.

" There are times that Im starting to like this process of life, and there are times that I'm rethinking about it " She really is.
Like now.

She's thinking if she didn't accept the job of being psychiatrist well even if she really didn't accept it she was just forced to take the job.

What could happen to the patients who needed her after her parents death ?

She's still on the process to move on from her parents death, No matter how many months, weeks and days.

Moving on isn't easy to do.

And again Silence took over the place for the second time. But this time it was Chaewon who broke it.

" How about you ? "

" What about me ? " You asked as if you're clueless about it.

" Are you happy ? " This time it was Chaewon's turn to ask the question. She turned the table so fast.

It was you who asked her the question. It was her who's having a hard time to answer it. But now it was her who ask the question. It was you who's having a hard time to answer it.

If you know She's going to ask you about it you think, you shouldn't have ask it at the first place if you're just going to get yourself cornered by your own question.

" Huh ? " Act clueless, that's what you're thinking right now. " What do you mean ? "

Chaewon let out a scoffed and raised her right leg up to her left thigh to rest it there. She then crossed her arms and looked at you.

" I'm not the one you're fooling here. Stop fooling yourself "

If you're observing Chaewon all the time, Chaewon is doing the same and just like her she can tell that there's something bugging you.

Her sentence hits you hard. Maybe she's right. Maybe you're just fooling yourself all this time.

" You asked me If I'm happy right ? " She asked and you nodded your head without looking at her.

" I'm asking you the same question. Are you happy ? "

" If you ask me like, right now and earlier " You look at her and flashed a small smile. " I'd say yes "

There's no point of you to always answer a question so straight just like how they ask you a question without hesitation too.

It's better to keep. Not when you're still not ready to answer it.

" How can you say so ? " Her eyebrows furrowed. " What do you mean by that ? "

You shook your head and raised your right hand before pointing your point finger to her direction. " Because of you "

And again for the Hundredth times today. Chaewon felt her heart beating faster.

" M-ee ? " She failed not to stutter.

She was so flustered by your answer after all. She didn't expect it to be like that. She expected you'll have the same answer with hers.

You nodded your head and You're definitely aware of what you said. It was true after all.

You're happy right now because of Chaewon.

" Why me ? " She confusingly asked and she have no idea why is it her.

You chuckled and stand away from the bench before walking towards her direction, as she watch you move closer to her.

And at every step you take, She can feel her heart beating faster and she just freaking don't know why.

" You asked me why ? " You stood infront of her. Chaewon gazes up to you and nodded her head.

" It's because. You make me to " Simple as that.

But Chaewon being a slow one sometimes, look at you with confusion her forehead already furrowed. Too much answer for her to think of.

" Im happy because you make me happy " You added with a smile but soon that smile dropped and was change into a sad one. " I once have my own reason to live. I have my grandma. She's the only person who supported me from everything. She was my lifeline "

You hung your head low. " But then world is too cruel for me. I lost her. I lost my grandma " tears started falling down to your eyes for the first time.

Chaewon didn't dare to move, not because she don't know what to do.

She's letting you to do so and she'll be here once you broke down.

" I lost my lifeline. I lost my reason to live " You looked at her and once Chaewon met your teary eyes. She felt like crying too.

As a psychiatrist it brokes her seeing a patient tearing up infront of her. Just because for having so much hard time.

You gave her a small smile and raised your hand up to wipe the tears falling into your cheeks. You can't believe after a long months You'll be able to let those tears fall. When all this time you've been keeping them and stopping to fall.

" Moving on and forgetting aren't as easy as we may think. Especially in our case. In my case- " You stopped and faced your back at her to approach the block railings of the rooftop.

You then gazed down at the lights coming from the building, and houses away from the hospital.

You're thinking how could be your life is, if you're one of the people living their life out there.

" It's hard for me to be happy and you were there who make me feel this way again " You are so aware of what are you saying.

And you have no plan of taking them back.

As Chaewon watched you from the bench. Her mind processed something that she didn't expect.

She finally realized what's the reason for her heart to beat so fast.

She realized. She's not sick. There's nothing wrong with her body and her heart because the real reason is that there's something wrong with her.

She shouldn't be feeling this feelings at first.

But then you gave her reason to do so, just like how she gave you the reason to live.

She have no plan stopping this feeling. She's just too late to realized what is it.

A smile formed on Chaewon's lips before saying something that makes you smile too.

" Then I'll be here to gave you reason to live. To gave you reason to be happy "

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