"Rule?" Nat asks woundering what I'm on about as the whole team is looking they they are asking the same question so I shall explain "yes... It was the rule that was pounded into me, eye forward at all times" This brings back so many memories to me which makes me blurt out my thoughts about this rule "the only thing that matters is the finish line... I think about dying..." Yeah it wasn't a good memory
"Since when?" Wanda asks "since I was ten... It soothes me when I can't sleep, when I'm anxious I think about dying and then I can fall asleep" I pause and think back to the rule and I can feel eveyones eyes on me "eyes forward at all times... It's exhausting, I'm exhausted" I am I'm so tired of it "is this a suicidal impulse, do you seriously consider hurting yourself?" Nat asks wanting to know if I'd ever do anythin like that
"No, no it's... You know an escape..." I pause I can tell they want more information about this so I just tell them what is on my mind "when I was little I would fly all over the world for track meets and I would look down at the clouds and they looked like a bed, you know they looked so soft like nothing coul hurt inside of those clouds... Like I could sleep in, like I could rest, like I could love if I could just jump into those clouds..." Taking a little breath I continue
"Truth is I'm a little bit jealous of my sister right now" yeah my sister is dead "who taught you eyes forward?" Steve asks so I answer "my father" "have you ever considered the possibility that your farther was wrong?" Have I thought of this before... No... He was always right at least that is what he said
"Y/n, isn't it possible with everything you have accomplished... That maybe you could learn to let yourself rest, sleep and love in this life?" She asks as she comes closer to me making sure to keep my attention "instead of waiting for death to set you free?" She asks making me look dow and away from her and everyone else thinking about it as I've been fighting my whole life and haven't stopped once
YOU ARE READING
Vol. 2 Moments / One Shots
FanfictionVolume 2 of my first one shot book. Again, please read warnings at the bottom before reading thank you. I'm not an expert on any mental health problems or anything like that so please if you see that I need correcting... Don't... Please I know that...
