HP Oneshots, headcannons, and Incorrect Quotes

Some Incorrect Quotes

Millian: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Fred: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Millian: But you're always acting stupid?

Fred: ...

Fred: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

~~

Sirius: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Sirius: Remus is still mad about it, but me and James were drunk and thought it was funny.

~~

Peter: is there anyone here that's actually straight?

James: * raises hand*

Sirius: * puts James's hand down

~~

Sirius: Do you want to know your gay name?

Remus: My... my gay name?

Sirius: Yeah, it's your first name-

Remus: Haha. Very funny Pads-

Sirius: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Remus: Oh- oh my god.

~~

Lily: I find it very unseemly of Severus to start dating after I rejected him. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?

Sirius: Die. Let's find out.

~~

George : You don't need my blessing to go kiss Millian. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Millian!

Fred: Nope.

George : In that case, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Millian right on the lips!!!

~~

* at Millian's house*

Sirius: hey Millian can you try to find your father for me please?

Millian: yeah sure * goes to find remus*

Sirius: * turns to the twins* alright which one of you is my daughter's soulmate

George: * nonchalantly points at fred*

~~

James : *seductively takes off glasses*

James : Wow...

Lily: *blushes* Haha... what?

James : You're really fucking blurry.

~~

Sirius: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.

Remus: Marry me.

~~

Fred: Are you a painting?

Millian: What-?

Fred: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

George : OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HER OR SOMETHING-

~~

*Fred is telling a story*

Millian: Wow, Fred , this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Ron: Romance?

George: she has a crush on him.