Tama of Tomeowrrow

Witch hunt

"How's our magical upgrade going, Ray?" Sara asked as Ray hooked up the magical bones to Gideon.

"Almost done, I think. Though they never covered how to interface time seismographs and enchanted bones in the Ivy U PhD program," Ray replied. "Well, that should do it. My peers would say that science and magic don't mix, but to them, I'd ask, 'Have you seen The Fifth Element? Right?'" Ray laughed.

"Ivy U sounds like a real party school," Zari said sarcastically.

"Oh, I hope this works. We need a way to pinpoint magical threats on the timeline. I mean, who knows what kind of creatures are out there wreaking havoc on history?" Sara said.

"Like, uh, vampires," Mick suggested.

"Gremlins," said another.

"Shifters."

"Ogres."

"Aswangs," Ray chimed in.

We looked at Ray, confused.

"Cannibalistic Filipino were-beasts with proboscis-like tongues. I've been doing some research just in case," Ray explained.

"I thought that's why we had Constantine," Zari frowned.

"Yeah, about that. Constantine is—" Sara started.

"Tired, hungover, and in need of a stiff one. Dealer's choice as to what that's a euphemism for," John interrupted as he dragged his heavy suitcase onto the bridge.

"He's here... apparently," Sara finished her sentence.

"Yeah, you know, I meant what I said about joining you lot, but then I pictured that same lot squaring off against some of the manky buggers I've come up against, and I thought, 'Yeah, you know what? You're right. You're all bloody doomed without me.' One aswang will take you down "Without breaking a sweat," John said, taking a swig from his flask.

"Ha ha! New legend alert. I better go update the chore wheel," Ray exclaimed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, sunshine. I'm not a bloody legend. I'm merely offering my services as a consultant, and as such, I have some stipulations. I don't do silly costumes, I expect full benefits, and I require no less than two weeks paid vacation," John said.

Meow? We get paid?

"Vacation?" Zari asked.

"Paid?" Mick growled, charging at John.

"Easy," Sara said, stopping Mick.

Device beeping

"Hey, it worked," Ray smiled.

"Will you look at that? Do we have a special name for these magical fugitives?" Zari asked.

"Well, I was thinking, since they're mysteries involving mythical beings, we could go with 'myth-teries,'" Ray suggested.

"Fugitives it is. What's it say?" Sara asked.

"Salem, Massachusetts, 1692," Zari answered.

"First day on the job, and you're taking me to the bloody witch trials," John huffed.

"Well, I hope you're feeling morally superior because we are getting our Puritan purit-on," Sara said.

We all looked at her in silence.

"That was too much, right?" Sara asked.

"It was... adequate, habibti," Nyssa said softly.

"I'm telling you, your machine is clearly buggered. There's nothing magical about Puritan New England," John said.