Searching

Chapter 4

Searching
Katibah Elle
Chapter 4

Tahseen’s anger built up, one fiery degree at a time. Never in her entire life had she felt such heated rage!
She walked faster and faster, cursing him with every step.

Mr Adam was not just rude, he was downright insulting.
He was an audacious, inconsiderate, judgemental jerk, who had a knack at sussing out her weakness.

Fine, yes! YES! That awful man was right.
He was absolutely right.

She did not want to study medicine!
She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.
Oh no!
She actually admitted it to herself.

Tahseen’s hands trembled lightly, and she clenched her fingers in an effort to keep up all the files against her chest.

For the first time ever, Tahseen allowed that thought to completely consume her, remembering all the times she played scenarios in head, to try and avoid studying medicine.
How she would steer clear of discussing her internship with her siblings.
All those times family members joked about her being a doctor, and how she hated how uncomfortable she felt.

The truth is, Tahseen felt she would have preferred something else, something more creative, something vibrant, but from an early age her parents encouraged her in this direction.

With every type of doctor set imaginable, to the skeleton toys and even the countless educational books.
Her father would always call her ‘my little doctor’.
Being a doctor was her father’s personal dream, but all those years ago, he couldn’t afford the education for medicine, her father needed to be apart of the family business.

Tahseen felt that she could not say no when both her parents put so much hope on this, and so she went for it.
She fulfilled her father’s dream and Tahseen did what she had to do.

There was also the teeny aspect of her not having the guts to speak up.
She hated confrontation and the worst person to stand up to, would be her own mother.
She did not want to express her desire to paint.
Her mother would probably have a heart attack if she knew, and so here she was, a Dr. Tahseen Hassim.

Those offensive words of Mr Adam continuously ring in Tahseen’s head, ‘So Dr. H… It seems to me that this whole doctor thing may be a little to rough for the likes of you.’

Her breath caught in her throat and she took a moment to close her tired eyes and rest her back against the hallway wall.

Dr. H! Who the bloody hell did that man think he was? Calling her Dr. H!
As if he knew her, as if he knew anything about her!
The prince of, ‘I’m too good, even for myself?’

As if he’d know anything about basic human interactions!

As if…

Hot tears of frustration gathered within the corners of her eyes. Her nose turning pink with the snuffles.
Tahseen quickly rubbed her nose and wiped her eyes dry.

Oh, how she hated that Mr Adam!

He opened that mouth of his, and now her very perfect life seemed to crumble.
She was so much happier being oblivious to her deeper emotions, she knew that internally she was very unhappy, but she hated that now she had to acknowledge it.
The realization of how much Tahseen dreaded becoming a doctor, was only at this moment, hitting her with full force.
With a tiny sob Tahseen knew there was absolutely nothing she could do about it now.

Tahseen parked the car in the garage and just sat there, staring into space, so lost in her own thoughts.
She was not aware that her mother parked her car as well.

Fahmida just got back from her gym class and was astonished to see her daughter, pale in complexion, her expression so glum on her first day of official work.