Searching

Chapter 14

Searching
Katibah Elle
Chapter 14

Tahseen sat on the dry grass, under the garden lapa and stared dreamily at the little droplets of rain that fell from the grey blue sky.

It wasn’t a harsh downpour, just a mere sprinkle of clear like that of pearls.

As if the dawn of something beautiful and pure were to unfold, Tahseen breathed in the air, ripe with the pleasant, dewy petrichor of the rain, and for the first time, reveled in the possibility of a fulfilled future.
The type of future, that deep down she always desired, only too afraid to hope for.

Her heart ached with the need of such a life, to be happy, to be content, to be in love, and now instead of lightly grasping at wisps of her imagination, she could practically grab the reality of it and hold it close.
It made her stomach drop with nerves.

With the palms of her hands she grazed the green blades, her gut tumbling with crazed anticipation.

There was no ounce of a doubt, she wanted this with Zuhair. 
No, she needed this.
Now all she required was the guidance of how to tell her parents.
That was the reason she waited under the garden lapa, she had called her elder brother Abdullah, asking him to meet her at the other end of the family property.

Abdullah was the sensible sibling, and if there was anyone to advise her correctly, it would be him.

“Asalam mu alaykum, Tahseen.” Abdullah greeted.

Tahseen turned around and waved him over, “Wa alay kum salaam. Come sit.” She patted the spot beside her.

Abdullah groaned, “Really? Do we have to sit on the grass? Tahseen there are benches right here.”

Tahseen grinned and rolled her eyes, “Oh stop being so prim and proper. Live a little! Sit on grass and stain your clothes.”

Abdullah walked over and sat down next to her. He frowned at her and remarked, “ Ayesha will give me an earful about the stains, having a baby has made her a clean freak, besides that is so hypocritical. Coming from the Queen of Prim .”

Tahseen knocked his shoulder with hers and replied, “ Hey! I’m not that bad. Not anymore. I just used to live in fear of doing everything by the standards of others, by doing it ‘right’.”

Feeling like she said too much, Tahseen pursed her lips, as she anxiously broke off some of the grass and began stripping it into thinner pieces.

She could feel Abdullah watching her, and knew he was trying to figure out her unusual behavior.
Before love, Tahseen knew she would never think of relaxing on the grass. It didn’t seem appropriate for the Hassim girl to do.

Now, with her heart full and with fear taking its flight, Tahseen felt differently about life. She wanted to indulge in every moment.

She just needed to know that her parents will fulfill the promise of standing by her decisions, and not allowing the rest of the extended family to have their say in her life.

“It’s the first time you’ve made that admission out loud. We all knew that you lived with pleasing the expectations of others and mum kept trying to push you to speak up. I know it was tough on you, being the only girl of the Hassim family. You felt some weird sense of obligated to duty to our grandparents. What changed? I mean, I was really happy that you decided to pursue a career in something you love, but this is different. Am I right?” Abdullah asked.

Tahseen dropped her face in her hands and sighed, “Oh Abdullah. I’m in love! I’m so madly in love. I have never felt like this before. I finally feel like I have found my home.”