Searching

Chapter 45

Searching
Katibah Elle
Chapter 45

Tahseen drove to her parents home, the white noise blocking away her senses as still, she refused to acknowledge her emotions that churned uneasily just below the surface.

She parked her car in the garage and quietly walked into the house, until she found the person she was looking for.

Her mother was in the living room, arranging a bouquet of flowers and Tahseen felt that first snap in her heart, unable to push away the image of the roses and peonies that Zuhair held in his hand this morning.

Tahseen cleared her throat and Fahmida turned around with a smile, “Tahseen! Oh! What a lovely surprise.”

Tahseen smiled back briefly and tentatively asked, “Can I stay home for a few days. Zuhair’s been busy with work and…” she paused.

Shocked that the lie slipped from her lips so easily, what was she doing?

Fahmida however distracted her with a click of her tongue, “Oh you silly girl! Of course you are welcome to stay! How about some breakfast and tea?”

Without waiting for her reply, Fahmida turned towards the kitchen with instructions, “Andrea! Put the kettle on. My Tahseen will be staying for a few days. Oh it’s been a while hasn’t it….”

As soon as the voice of her mother drifted away, Tahseen reached out for her mother’s bouquet. The tips of her fingers hovering above the petals, but in her minds eye all she could see were those beautiful flowers in Zuhair’s hand.

The look of alarm that tore at his face when he saw her waiting for her bags almost stopped Tahseen.
Almost.

But she knew for certain that she couldn’t be around him, especially not in that house.

She was tormented by the memories, each room in their house reminding her of Zuhair’s laughter, the love in his eyes as he held their daughter.
Times when they were happy together now served a permanent scar of what was lost.

It felt so wrong for her to leave him, but she could barely begin to make sense of the chaos that plagued her.
Tahseen felt trapped by responsibility of coming to terms with her grief, and all she had wanted was for the demons to be silenced.

“They’re from the garden, I tried something a little different this time.” Ebrahim remarked.

Tahseen turned around to see her father, and she grinned, slightly confused, “…um what is?”

He pointed to the bouquet that she seemed fixated on, “Those flowers. Your mother adores them, my theme for today was wonderland. All the blues and whites.”

“It’s really pretty.” She replied, looking anywhere but at the damn flowers, her strength starting to crumble, her heart aching.

Her father looked at her for a moment, his hands crossed and confessed, “Hmm…You know, when we were first married, we were making a trip across the province and as I was driving, she demanded that I stop the car.
I was so concerned, I thought she was feeling carsick, or maybe she just didn’t like me.
But your mother jumped out of the car, and leaned over the bridge.
Her eyes were on the wild flowers and sunflowers below.
The next moment your mother went merrily skipping down lake, until she was below the bridge to get those flowers.
When I tell you my heart was in my throat, ah! but the smile on her face blinded me.
After that I made a promise that I will give this woman a garden with the flowers to her hearts content.
I may never understand why they make her so happy, but I will always be sure to gather a fresh bunch every morning.
There’s nothing that bring me more joy than seeing your mother this way.
The perks of marriage, as you well know.” Her father winked at her, completely unaware that Tahseen could barely breathe.