Searching

Chapter 11

Searching
Katibah Elle
Chapter 11

He was in a horrible mood for more than a week.
He knew it, his staff knew it, and his own mother very much reprimanded him for acting like a, as she called it, ‘a grounded teenager with no video games.’

Zuhair could not summon the urge to correct his mother, that it is not called video games as it was before.
He was too caught up in his brooding and constant snapping to tease her about her outdated phrases.

His father reassured him, that business issues are meant to be challenging, and that he should not allow it to affect his personal life.
He most certainly could not confide in either of his parents, that it was, in fact personal issues that were affecting him.

More accurately, a certain lady Dr Tahseen Hassim.

It was three am and he couldn’t close his eyes with sleep, his mind was too occupied for him to be at peace.
Perhaps a morning run would ease his tension. Zuhair pulled on his running shoes and threw over a light hooded jacket.
He warmed up with a few stretches, then made his way down the stairs and right outside.

Looking at the weather, the sky completely void of colour, overcast with a slight drizzle of rain, it spoke out the words of his soul.
Somber, a grey shadow sheathed the light.

The streets were quiet and dark, making Zuhair feel like he was lost in a another time. With the sun still below the horizon, he welcomed nature’s solitude. Breathing in this crisp cold air, he started out with a slow pace.

Zuhair jogged calmly at first, until his plaguing thoughts carried forth, causing him to run furiously, his chest heaving and burning with the effort, his legs sparking as if on fire.
The minds troubles began to drown him, blurring his vision. With each unclarity, he ran faster, as if running away from the chaos he conjured in his mind.

Tahseen had stopped replying to his emails.
He didn’t think anything of it at first, as conversations are bound to dwindle out, but after emailing her a few relatable jokes and asking how her mural was taking shape, she did not respond at all.

The day he stopped by the hospital to donate a few gifts at the children’s ward, he was looking forward to chatting with with her, he had wanted to ask her if she'd join him for coffee, but when he caught her eye she began packing up her paint quickly and practically sprinting away the second she noticed him.

She was most definitely avoiding him, but this time he could not understand why. He assumed that they had worked through his blunder, and were perhaps becoming friendly acquainted. A friendship of sorts.

He could not hide the fact, that he felt that there was something extraordinary special about Tahseen Hassim, and he wanted to know more.
No, it was more than that. He felt a strong need, to know every hidden crevice of her being.

At the same time, he also knew he needed to accept the possibility that she won’t want that.
Perhaps she felt awkward with him and  she won’t be willing to allow him in. If she has no interest in him, he will have step away. 
That itself caused him extreme panic, to lose something that he never had, yet to feel the most pain for it, an almost lonely ache for something like more, a deep level of connection.

His heart thudded heavily with the exertion of his run, gradually aching with the apprehension of seeing a gem like Tahseen Hassim slip away from his fingertips.

There was only one way to figure this out.

Be direct.

Yes, he will go to the hospital, with the intention of talking to her.
Whatever happens after that, he will deal with it. The not knowing right now, is crazily unsettling him.

Zuhair lifted his barely visible face towards the sky, he took a steady breath and sent up a silent prayer for only goodness to come out of his intentions. The droplets of rain ran slowly down just his lips, giving him a much needed pause.
He threw back the hood of his jacket as a faint smile graced his face, enjoying the pure feeling of rain washing over him. In a way, he felt it as a sign, that in overcast troubles lay a hidden treasures.

With his heart set on what he needed to do, with a clearer state of mind, he walked in the direction of the Masjid.
Early Fajr prayer paired with heartfelt supplications always remained a perfect remedy for an uneasy soul.

When Zuhair reached the hospital, he resisted every urge to make a beeline for Tahseen.
This time, he was not going to screw it up with haste nor pride, he was going to talk to her in a mature way.

He stopped by Eric’s office, the perfect hideout until he figured out how to approach her.
Tahseen was too busy painting at the moment, he didn't want to interfere with her calm and there was no way she would come by right now.

“So here we are again, the ever so dashing Zuhair Adam, fervently seeking the heart of a beautiful, yet complicated young woman by the name of Tahseen Hassim.. She is….” Eric narrated, his hands flairing about in the air.

Zuhair threw Eric the dirtiest look and hissed in alarm, “Would you keep your mouth shut? Someone can hear you! And there is no need for you to look so damn smug.”

Eric stretched back in his chair, lifting his legs on the table. He grinned and teased, “Oh I’m sorry, I had no idea this lovely dame possessed super sonic hearing, amongst her other qualities, and I would KNOW, oh heaven forbid that you have a cute little crush on her.”

Zuhair heard enough, Eric was supposed to be of some help. Not annoy him to death.
“I’ll wrestle you, and I’m in a mood so you know it will hurt.” Zuhair gritted out, glaring at Eric.

Eric smiled at him like some mad little man.
Zuhair sighed in exasperation.
He should just get it over with, like this, Eric will drag him to insanity.

“OK, I’m going. Wish me luck, please. Oh and no, don’t say a word. I really don’t want to punch you."
With that Zuhair left the cackling Dr Miller, relieved to be out of his office.

Zuhair found Tahseen sitting on the floor, she drew impatiently and after a few seconds ripped the page out and scrunched it into a ball.
He approached her cautiously, not wanting her to jump up and run away again at the mere sight of him.

He slowly sat down next to her, and she didn’t even turn her head. She was so busy muttering to herself and sketching, that she had no idea he was next to her.
Zuhair opened the box of Oreos he bought and pulled out the sleeve.
“Cookie?” he offered.

Tahseen blindly reached for the biscuit and took a bite.
After chewing for a few seconds, she froze and with wide eyes turned to look at him.

“Wha…. What?” she sputtered.

Zuhair grinned. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked, her expression shocked, cookie crumble on her lips.

“I noticed you were busy. So I offered you some Oreos.” Zuhair replied.

Tahseen swallowed and shook her head, “No… I mean, what are you doing here?”

Zuhair licked his lips nervously and avoided her eyes as he spoke, “ I wanted to talk to you. I have noticed you were avoiding me.”

Zuhair stopped.

He had no idea how to continue. He was so focused on wanting to talk to her, that he completely forgot to figure out what it was he wanted to say.

It was Tahseen’s turn to look away, and when she spoke her cheeks turned pink, and Zuhair found himself holding his breath.

“Zuhair, I don’t know what to say. Honestly, this is difficult for me. I have been enjoying our conversations, seeing you come by the hospital made me happy.. but I feel that maybe…. Maybe I’m making it more that it seems. I’m still finding myself and I just don’t want to be a disappointment to you, and  I tried so hard to ignore you, but I think the damage is done.”

Zuhair’s entire body deflated as he felt a huge burden lifted off his chest.

She felt the same way!

He couldn’t stop the laugh of delight that echoed in the corridors.

He looked at her, his eyes softening with tenderness and whispered, “You’re something else, Tahseen Hassim. You’ve done your fair share of damage too. I want there to be more than it seems.”