𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, eddie munson

the mixtape

it had only been a few months since eddie lost you. a few months since he'd smiled or laughed. a few months since he'd shown any emotions besides anger and sadness. a few months since he'd even bothered leaving his home.

robin and steve would regularly come to the trailer to check in on him. most of the time there was no answer. sometimes a fairly drunk eddie would answer. other times they would let themselves in to find him passed out on the couch, or the floor, or even the kitchen counter that one time. but today, today was different and sadder then most.

robin and steve were riding in steve's car, making their weekly round to eddie's trailer after their shift at the video store.

"man i mean, i don't know when he's gonna get out of this funk." steve sighed.

"i know. but he loved her so much. i can't imagine what i'd be like if i lost the one person who made me feel loved and accepted." robin countered, talking with her hands. and it was true. he never felt like a freak when he was with you. you made him feel normal.

they pulled up and parked next to eddie's van, which hadn't been used since you. they sighed at the sight and stepped out of the car. the blinds were closed, lights were off, it was the new normal for eddie.

but what wasn't normal was the music they heard when they approached the door. robin and steve looked at each other, furrowing their eyebrows. they pressed their ears to the door in an attempt to make out what song was playing.

"is that... is that Still Loving You?" steve asked, turning to robin, who still had her eyebrows furrowed.

"i mean, i didn't take eddie for a Scorpions kind of guy, but it sounds like it." robin answered, shrugging.

steve only muttered a 'what the hell' under his breath in response.

"we need to go in." steve stated, not wasting any time opening the door and letting himself in. the two friends scanned the sad scene in front of them.

eddie sat on his couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, a beer bottle in his left hand, biting the nails on his right hand. tears had clearly been falling from the boys eyes for a while now, which were fixed on the wall in front of him. his stereo placed on the coffee table, playing the music which could be heard from outside.

robin and steve's faces immediately softened when they observed eddie, who hadn't even flinched when they opened the door. they walked through the doorway, robin shutting the door behind them. they moved to sit next to eddie on the couch, steve on his left, robin on his right. they sat in quiet for a moment, listening to the song play on the stereo.

"i found her mixtape." eddie breathed out. the two sitting next to him exhaled sadly at this, sympathetic expressions on both their faces. eddie still hadn't looked away from the wall in front of him.

"it was in the pocket of my jacket. i... i didn't even know she'd given it to me." eddie choked out through shaky breaths.

robin then got a flashback to y/n telling her excitedly about the one of the first nights her and eddie hung out.

"i slipped my mixtape into his pocket, like you said to. i don't think he noticed, which i'm okay with. i want it to be sort of a suprise." y/n told robin with a beaming smile.

robin teared up at the memory, but pushed the tears back for eddie's sake. they had to be strong around him. she placed a hand on the now crying boys shoulder, causing him to break his glare at the wall and finally let it all out. he turned to cry into robins shoulder to which robin allowed, placing a hand on the back of his head. steve slowly slid the beer bottle out of eddie's hand and placed it on the counter.

"god, i fucking loved her, man." he sobbed out.

"i know, i know." robin whispered in a comforting way.

it seemed like eddie was finally somewhat opening up. i mean, they hadn't heard him speak besides the occasional 'no' when they would ask if he needed anything.

once eddie had calmed down a little, the three of them sat at the kitchen counter. steve had turned off the stereo, hoping that would relieve some tension. loose tears escaping from eddie's eyes, but he wasn't sobbing anymore. they had all cracked open beers, while steve and robin shared hopeful looks that the boy would open up and talk to them.

"eddie, do you want to maybe, talk about it?" robin whispered softly. eddie was engaged in another staring contest with the counter in front of him this time.

"thats the only part of her i have left." he whispered, a tear falling on the table as he said it. robin and steve shared sympathetic  look.

"when i found the mixtape, it tried not to listen to it.. i knew, i just.. i had to. i can't believe i didn't know i had it. i would have played it when it was with her here, or- or in the car." eddie rambled on, holding back a waterfall of tears, voice cracking.

"we know. she knows." steve said, comforting him. eddie finally looked up and took a deep breath.

he hated himself for letting you die the way you did. he hated himself for never officially asking you to be his girlfriend. he was planning on it but all then chrissy died and everything went downhill from there. he was so insanely in love with you. everyone could see it, even you. after all of the dates and hanging out and make out sessions in his van and empty trailer, he knew you had feelings for him, but you never got to tell him that you loved him. and he never got to tell you.

and now here he was, not sure if he was ever going to be the same as he was before that night. before you all got stuck in the upside down. before any of it. before you.

"i replay that night in my head everyday..."

———
AH sorry it's so sad 😔
there will be a pt 2 to this tho!
hope y'all are loving these!!