Kaiju Paradise Shorts + Headcanons (DISCONTINUED)

The Catte's Heist

A scientist stood frozen in the doorway, staring in fear at the creature in front of him. There was a large, orange humanoid cat lying on his desk. He looked around the room and spotted a coworker hiding under her desk, staring at him with wide eyes. The cat did not seem to notice either of them, stretching itself out on the desk and swishing its tail contentedly.

"How did it get out?" The man whispered, trying not to attract the cat's attention.

His coworker shook her head, as if to say she didn't know. The man took another look around the room and noticed the button on the wall. That would sound the alarms and hopefully a guard would rush into the room to take the creature back to its cell. This had happened before, of course, and so there was a plan in place for when a gootraxian escaped, but recently it had been happening more frequently. Apparently, this same gootraxian had escaped containment multiple times, somehow. It usually didn't make a fuss about being sent back, but it was still extremely dangerous.

The man shuffled over to the button on the wall and pressed it. The room was bathed in a red light as a siren sounded. The cat hissed in fright and stood up, locking its eyes onto the male researcher. He froze. Instead of pouncing or approaching the man, it raised its paw up onto its head, where a bucket rested, and tossed it at the scientist, who leapt out of the way, yelping in fear.

No sooner had that happened than the automatic door burst open, if an automatic door could "burst" open, that was. In the doorway was a single, tired-looking man, who looked as though he'd done this a dozen times. What was different from each of those times, though, was the cat's reaction to all of this. Normally, it would just hide somewhere in the room and be peacefully dragged away by the unfortunate guard tasked with taking it back to its chamber.

This time, though, it was hissing, standing tall on both legs, while its fur bristled. The scientist and guard looked surprised by this, and the guard grabbed the taser from the belt around his waist, aiming it at the creature. He fired...

And nothing happened! The taser seemed to be broken. The cat took its chance and leapt from the desk, charging past the scientist and guard, and out the open door.

"Shit!" Cried the guard, "Not again!" He leaned into his walkie-talkie and said "Yeah, we've got a code yellow in sector-B... again." He practically growled the last word.

"You," he pointed at the scientist, "lock down this sector, let people know what's goin' on, I've got a cat to catch."

The scientist watched as he stormed out. Poor Joe. He had been promoted from a janitor to a security guard not long ago, which basically meant that he still had janitor duties, he was just allowed to carry a taser that apparently didn't even work. Regardless, the scientist and his coworkers, who were no longer hiding under their desks, all agreed to split up and warn the rest of the facility about the security breach.

Meanwhile, the cat was barely over the rush from its successful escape attempt. However, something was missing. Darn it! It had left its head bucket in the office, and there was no way it was going back there! It glanced around for a suitable replacement and plucked one off the nearest shelf. It held the bucket in its paws, and it slowly turned from a dark, rusty grey color to an orange color that nearly matched the critter's fur. The cat placed the bucket on its head, satisfied.

After wandering around for a beat, the cat found itself in front of an interesting looking door. It glanced up, the sign above the door reading "Slime hound containment: CAUTION!" The cat grinned, prepared to cause some mischief. It slapped its paw against the button just next to the door, and stared as it slid open. A small group of slime hounds, surrounded by slime pups, exited the room. They stared at the orange cat for a moment, before giving it a nod and dispersing throughout the facility. The cat jumped up and bolted away as another alarm began to go off. However, its mission wasn't done yet!

The cat ran door-to-door, releasing as many subjects as it could find, and suggesting to the ones who could understand it to do the same. Mostly, they were typical subjects like slime hounds and kaijus. However, the door at the end of the hall drew its attention, and it skipped about half of the other doors to rush to it first.

The first thing the creature noticed was how the room was shrouded in darkness. It pressed its face against the window, squinting, trying to see what was on the other side. When two bright red eyes suddenly appeared on the other side of the glass, with a slam against the door, the cat leapt back. Oh, it just HAD to release whatever these were! It grabbed the bucket from its head once more and tossed it against the button next to the door.

As soon as the door slid open, a swirling torrent of darkness rushed out into the hallway, speeding towards the opposite end. The cat scooted itself against the wall so as to not be trampled. It caught a glance of the creatures, which appeared to be cat-like as well. They were all darkly colored and all seemed to have red eyes with burning yellow irises. They were covered in spiky dark fur and had long, sharp claws. Some of them sprinted on all fours, while others ran upright.

The cat widely grinned again, sensing the chaos that it had released. As the crowd cleared out, the cat placed its beloved bucket back on its head and stared down the hallway. There were puddles of goo of all different colors on the floor, and even a small dark circle which a small crystal poked from the center of.

The cat strolled casually down the hallway, the echo of alarms and screams for help filling the rooms nearby. Finally, the cat approached the only door that hadn't been opened yet. The sign said "Infected object: CAUTION!" And the cat immediately opened the door, stepping inside.

There, in a glass container, was a pair of night vision goggles, with purple lenses in the center of three eyeholes. What sort of human needed three eyeholes to use a pair of goggles? The cat chucked its bucket at the glass container, shattering it immediately. What to do with these? It wondered to itself, holding them in its paws. They seemed a bit too large for its own head, but perhaps they would prove useful soon...

Suddenly, another glass container, located on the wall near the door it had entered, caught the cat's eye. It stepped over, still holding the goggles in its paws. There seemed to be an article located beneath the glass. Fortunately, the cat had retained its ability to read English, and began skimming the article.

A few phrases stood out to the creature, "Self-replicating, seeking vessel, DO NOT WEAR!" The cat excitedly rushed out of the room to find a good hiding spot for the goggles. It exited the hallway, made a few more turns, and found itself in the maintenance caves. It stopped, noticing a huge difference in the room before it. The bridge that connected the maintenance caves and the containment chambers was missing. It looked as though it had collapsed from the weight of all the gootraxians running over it. Not a problem for the cat though! Slipping the night vision goggles around its neck, the cat got on all fours and leapt easily over the gap, reconnecting itself with the rest of the facility.

Soon, the screams had faded. Perhaps their fun was over? Surely, the poor cat would be executed for its crimes. Oh well, a little destruction seemed well worth the price. It wandered through the facility, observing the destruction it had caused and smiling to itself. It imagined the report the humans would send to their higher-ups.

Eventually, the goggles began to feel heavy around its neck. Having no personal use for them, the cat looked around for somewhere to dispose of them. It stopped at a shelf, cluttered with items, and slid the goggles behind a small pile of objects. They wouldn't be noticed there for quite some time, but the cat suspected that when they were, all hell would break loose. The cat skipped out of the room, leaving the goggles on that shelf until they were ready to cause their own chaos.