aespa imagines

winter | wish i was her

you slowly brought the hot cup to your mouth, your lips making contact with the rim of the cup. you took a sip, it burned as it went down your throat. you continued to stare out the window, watching people walk by. the voice that has been talking to you sounds muffled, your ears blocking every possible noises that went in your ear.

winter placed down her cup of coffee in front of you, tapping your index finger ever so gently. there's a disappointed look smeared on her face as you snapped back to your senses. you look at your hand that was wrapped with winter's small hand.

"babe?"

"hm?" you avoided her eyes, but you know her expression changed when she noticed you were not listening.

"sorry what were you saying?" you look at her slender fingers that are wrapped around yours. she softly carresed your hand before letting out a deep sigh

"look at me" winter commanded. your eyes trailed form her slender finger, to her lips, finally her eyes.

"baby i-"

"-i love you"

your heart pounded in your chest as you squeezed giselle's hand. feeling giddy that she kept on showering you with love.

"aeri," your voice echoed through the empty classroom, looking up at aeri who was sitting on the desk.

your hand snaked up to hers, you intertwined your fingers around her slender fingers. smiling at how happy you are to be having some time alone with your girlfriend after a while.

"i can't imagine life without you. i know it's too early to say this but i really see a bright future waiting for us" you said, looking up to aeri who is looking at you with heart eyes.

"you're the only thing that matters anymore.  i can't eat,  i can't sleep—all the goddamn cliches from every stupid movie and song.  you're all i think about.  i'm useless except when i'm yours-"

"-im yours. so tell me, whatever is in your mind please tell me" winter pulled your hands close to her lips as she plant a soft peck on your knuckles.

you did not hear whatever she was saying as your thoughts was filled with the thoughts of the girl you truly loved, aeri. though you're with winter right now, she's just a girl you're currently passing time in her arms.

"you'reー you're not listening" winter chocked back in tears. she nodded, patting your hand a couple of time before letting it go.

"it's aeri isn't it" she sniffed. your whole attention snapped back at the mention of aeri's name.

"i'm sorry i'm not her" tears rolled down her cheeks, your face expressionless. it's not like you didn't care about winter crying in front of you, it's just that. winter isn't aeri.

then why be with winter in the first place? you don't know. you just needed someone to lean on and gain attention from.

winter's eyes never left yours, her eyebrow arched downwards as she stare at you, so hurt that even when she's crying in front of you, you did not even bother to hold her hand or even mutter a simple 'im sorry'.

"winter i-"

"no, i'll go. that's what you want,right?"

you kept quiet, winter looking at you as she waited and hoped that you deny what she said. but her heart broke into million pieces the moment you nodded.

"i'm sorry"

winter wiped her tears with her sleeve roughly before standing up and walking past you.

and you just let her be. no wrist grabbing, no hugging her from behind preventing her to walk out of your life. you waited for this exact moment, for winter to finally break up with you.

a year with winter and you never really actually cared or even loved her. though you try fall for her touch and affection, you couldn't.

everything reminds you of aeri, and winter knew. she knew you didn't care. she knew your mind was somewhere else everytime she touches you. and she knew you wished she was aeri instead.

but she loved you so much that she doesn't care you're using her.