aespa imagines

karina | what about me

jimin,

i still remember the day we first met. the new semester had just started meaning more rooftop trips for me. the rooftop had always been my escape, every break especially after history class.

it was a sunny day, the sun was just above my head but i couldn't care less, at least i'm away from the chaos that is going on in the cafeteria right now. all those lining up to get a mushy spaghetti isn't worth it anyways.

not until my peace was disturbed by the sound of the rusty door creaking open. it was quiet for a while, until i hear the sound of footsteps growing louder

"y/n right?"

"uh yea"

i remember clearly the way my heart fluttered the moment you sat next to me and at the fact that you smelled so nice. i couldn't even lift my head up, let alone look at you in the eyes. it took me a couple of meet ups with you to properly look at you in the eyes while talking.

but you were so different from me, you weren't hiding your feelings at all. everytime you walk by my class, you'd always stop and try to grab my attention from outside of the class not minding the other students looking at you.

it always made me so shy, but giddy at the same time. especially when you run to me during lunch break with an extra bento for me to eat with you. it tasted amazing, especially your tuna mayo onigiri.

weeks and weeks of spending time with you pass by and i find myself always making excuses to meet you because i couldn't stop thinking about you, especially your smile.

do you remember? during summer break we didn't have the time to meet each other because of my part time job, and you showed up at my workplace with a grin. and that made me fall for you more.

holding your hand for the first time under the moonlight at the park near your house, do you remember that? how your cheek got so red and how you hit me so hard on the back when i teased you about it.

i couldn't have asked for more, god blessed me with you to be mine and you were my first. everything was. from the late night walks to the park to sudden visits to each other's house.

days became months and months became a year. everything was too fairytale like to be called reality. i knew every story has an end but it still caught me off guard.

you were just.. gone. leaving everything behind, leaving me behind. you stopped showing up to school one day, not even replying to my texts asking about your well being.

i still remember how the cold wind blew into my face when you slammed the door in my face the moment you open the door.

i kept on trying everyday, to reach out to you. to get a reaction out of you. sitting on my bed at night, thinking if i had done something that made you so mad.

were there false rumour about me? did you find someone else? were we even a thing? what we had together were still intact and thriving in my head. but had you felt the same? or was I just a passerby who needed your attention?

your classmate, was it yuji? yeji? i was so in shambles that she had to reached out to me. telling me how much of a nice person i am that you do not deserve me.

"jimin doesn't deserve me? shouldn't it be the other way around? i mean i don't have much to off-"

"y/n, you're sincere." yeji looked into my eyes, as if she's slapping some senses into me with just her gaze.

"we both are.." i frowned, seeing how yeji kept her silence made me wonder.

"we both are sincere..right?"

was it just me? all along?

"she's just...trying to get over her ex"

it was so abrupt i couldn't comprehend things properly. nothing made sense that day. the pounding ache in my head didn't help and so yeji who was giving me encouraging words.

it was so hard to breathe, my heart was either beating so fast or somewhere near not beating at all. it took all of my energy to stand up and walk away from yeji. though everything was blurry, i remember collapsing on the bed before everything turn black.

i love you so much, i would do anything to make you happy. you can never imagine to what extent i will go just to see you smile.

oh jimin. i know im gullible and easily fooled, but i have feelings and i am not insensitive like you.

what about me? i fell for you, are you just going to let go. did you really not feel anything that could make you consider running to me during those one year we had together? im tired of crying myself to sleep everynight

at least tell me what to do now,

—

im back!