Overlap

Chapter 27-C: Two Minds, One Body

<11/01/2010- 08:16 | Saffrin Middle School, Austell, GA, USA>

Today seems to have a theme applied directly to me: I can't and won't get whatever I want - no matter how important. I was already on my way towards my first period class of Social Studies, something that has always felt routine until today. My pacing in the hallway was sluggish, my legs weak from anxiety. My eyes nervously darted in switching to every single student I walked by, whether they were giving me a glance or not. I did my best not to stare at anyone, hoping my mere presence would attract the least attention. I felt my heart pounding all the way up into my throat, sweating in the building that kept a perfect room temperature of sixty-nine degrees.

Please no one notice! Please no one notice! Please no one notice! It was all I could concentrate on right now. I knew Lumina's presence was right here, watching ever little detail through my eyes, listening to every pin drop around me. And for some reason, I felt that the same could be done to me in return by everyone in my immediate presence. Everyone who put their eyes on me even by mistake as they passed by gave me a small jolt of panic each time. Despite what I knew, it felt like anybody might just be able to take one good look at me and tell.

I couldn't level my breathing because of it. Lumina picked up on my nervousness too, but I ignored any attempt she made to calm me down, since she was the source of this problem. My usual calm had been shattered, and any attempt I made at keeping my cool just wasn't working. It somehow felt worse than walking through the halls in my underwear, not that I have ever done so before, but I still felt exposed in some way. My mind was no longer my own in privacy. The mental fracture I was having in secret could at any time become known to somebody else, any one of these students! I don't know what to do about it, and the presence of so many of them only made this harder.

It would only take me four minutes to walk to my next class, but they became the longest four minutes of my life. I couldn't get over the fact that as I moved about, I was unwillingly relaying all of the sensory information to another person in real time. My vision hijacked by her, my ears tapped by her abilities, even physical sensations of my own body were sent her way. Such an uneasy reminder only made it harder for me to keep a level head on my way into the classroom. For reason I had not yet identified, I felt more awake in the present moment than ever before, as if some new line of direct mental energy were being pumped right into my brain.

But against all odds, I entered the classroom, realizing that any suspicious behavior I might have about me went undetected. It's not as if I were acting suspiciously, but with Lumina right here, I could feel some invisible aura around me. It didn't feel as invisible as I wanted it to be. I worried even now that one good look will reveal that I'm having a crazy psychological breakdown.

Nevertheless, I managed to find my own seat without attracting any attention from anyone in here. Students were still piling in through the doorway, since I wasn't late or early. I also reminded myself that I had the temporary luck of not knowing anyone from this class too well at all. If anyone I did know were to see me in this state, I don't think I will be able to take it. After a nice five second cool down from all of that pressure I felt before, whatever stress I was holding began to melt away with the ambient silence of others talking about their day.

"So... Who was that person you ran into today?"

Realizing now that my newfound peace would instantly be shattered by Lumina's never-ending brigade into my life, I knew I would have to suffer her curiosity through the class, minute by minute. It's like I said earlier; if I so much as focus my eyes on a single point, she will catch onto it. Still, for as much as I can't hide from her, she isn't the omniscient person I made her out to be. Letting out a painfully obvious grunt and sigh that I would have to put up with more, I tried to keep Lumina in her own lane. "It's a long story, one that happened over the summer..."