Overlap

Chapter 36-B: The 10%

<01/04/2011 - 09:21 | Saffrin Middle School (Math), Austell, GA, USA>

Coursing my way slowly to the slump I knew would be today's math class, my eyes bounced off several people either walking the halls, or slumping against lockers to talk to their friends. Even though I slowed my pace to snail speed, I of course was the only person in the hallway walking by my lone self. In this moment of mental silence and clarity, it felt like time slowed around me, matching my tune and favoring my emotions.

I was in no rush to make it to class, and that was because I had much to think about especially observing all of those around me. I mostly felt envious of the others, be it couples or other girls just hanging out for fun. It took nothing for me to realize that I have none of what they do, true top-down friendship. But I couldn't fully understand this feeling, because it was so quickly overridden with another strong sensation, the kind that tightened my body, clenched my teeth, and boiled my rage. There were many of them, groups of boys huddled together or strung about, doing such stupid things.

One cluster of men were laughing and throwing soft objects at each other, caring not for who they might hit or bump into in the process. I could hear the conversation of another, two guys going off about their offensive view on girls. Lumina used the phrase misogynistic, though I still didn't know all of the language to understand it. Basically, the hallway was half full of 'boys just being boys.'

It wasn't that long ago that Lumina showed me the true nature of men who embrace their masculinity, the nature of the heathen. Just being around this many at once was bringing back those reminders again, especially when their own stupidity and familiar behavior was on full display. Every time I got a glance at something like this, my thoughts were all sent to the direction of what happened in the Altiri history because of Legasso. I remember too well what happened to them, what happened to her. The association of genetics is enough reason for me to hate the other men too.

"Look at them. They're all such idiots!" Despite not trying to, Lumina and I voiced our anger at the same moment with the same words. I'm so refreshed to have someone to shoulder the same hatred I'm feeling now. It's still tough though; I don't see how Lumina gets by everyday seeing these heathens just roaming the school.

"I'm kind of surprised that you feel the same way now. Not that I'm complaining." In all her gloating to have shifted me to her way of thinking, Lumina must have forgotten the revelation she revealed to me earlier.

Weeks back, Lumina showed me what people were really like, revealing to me their darkest, most twisted natures. She showed this to me by sharing distant memories of her past observations to me, rather forcefully. They were memories of the people she watched when she was using clairvoyance on them. The horrible things men did to other people can't ever leave my mind. I've tried to forget about it, and I just can't, but even that alone wasn't enough to sway me into hating heathens. There was one more catalyst to all of this; the Altiri.

The dark ages of their history left scars on all of them, including Lumina. If I were not friends with Lumina right now, then it would never have bothered me this much, but the mental pain this left on her has gone unpunished. Legasso died a quick, easy, and painless death, and men of similar nature roam freely on the Earth, doing whatever destructive or hurtful things they want to try. Lumina isn't exclusively feeling pure rage when she's surrounded by all of these heathens. Some of this is also a background terrifying fear, fear of what they might do again if they ever get the chance. Her anger, her fear, her anxiety, her sadness, I can feel it all without even having to try. But of all those emotions, she clings to anger, because it is the easiest one to deal with. Deep down, I think I knew this as well, leaping onto her bandwagon for both our sakes.