Overlap

Chapter 85: Premonition 001

<02/26/2012 - ??:?? | Location Unknown>

Despite the shifting usual flow of my life, the notes of destiny played their harmony, beautifully enough to entice me in a dance, but gradually enough for me not to notice. In a mirrored world darker than the one I was used to, I stupidly stumbled around through my passive days of middle school, assuming I would never have a social life comparative to average habits.

Whatever image I assumed turned out to be as dynamic as the swirling seas in the skies, because before I knew it, I was sitting in the back of my parents' car, buckled smug next to a current classmate of mine. I couldn't begin to explain how unusual this situation turned out to be, since I've never even been to another friend's house before, excluding Nae, who I won't count right now since she is so hyperactive and easy going. Even then, I've never sat next to a classmate in the back seat of a car before. Naturally, I was nervous.

Veronica was not the shiest person I've met, but she wasn't too outspoken right now either. She sat on the other side, buckled up holding a stuffed doggie to accompany her ride. We were all getting a ride actually, not to either of our homes, but out somewhere special. I was informed days before this moment that my mom and step dad were planning a trip to the Outlet Mall in Woodstock.

I've actually been to this outlet mall before, a couple years back. That place was both amazing and magical from what I could remember, but during the time I was there, I was too young and distracted to appreciate its wonders. Since recently, I've been begging them to go to the outlet mall again while taking me with. Somehow, I managed to talk myself into asking Veronica to accompany me on this trip. I made sure to ask her to join me in this event as a friend, but especially right now, I'm cautiously treading the line since this could easily feel like a date.

I convinced myself it was within normal to ask a girl out to the mall like this, and I hoped Veronica thought of this in the same way. It was still challenging not to be nervous though. I've often questioned my platonic compatibility between myself and Veronica, still uncertain even to this very moment. I dared not think again to tell her the truth about Lumina, less the scenarios playback endlessly in my mind, trading uncertainty for a deep and addicting montrum, the montrum of what I wanted to be true, versus what I knew deep down would happen.

I had to put all of it aside for now, prioritizing the moment to have my fun while hanging out with Veronica at the same time. Given Lumina's absence in today's weather, becoming better friends with Veronica is what I wanted most.

So, when we arrived at the outlet mall, getting lost in the alluring surroundings, I made sure to have as much fun as I could, following Veronica into various stores as I dragged her into some of the places I wanted to see. Each time we left one, our hunger for more adventure spiked up. It was all too easy to enjoy myself, and the bliss seemed to last forever.

If I could save today as a token of my greatest accomplishments, I wouldn't hesitate. After all, it was tough as hell for me to ask any school mate if they wanted to hang out with me. While it's still true that I only associate and surround myself with women, the reason for my overbearing shyness in these situations has nothing at all to do with attractiveness or flirtatious intent. I've been wanting to hang out with them as friends, as buddies, doing anything and everything I could without crossing the line of romantic territory. No matter what I try, my intentions are always pure.

That isn't the source of my social anxieties. What I fear most, what makes me so nervous, is the expected reaction those would give me if or when I ever decide to tell them more about myself, specifically more about Lumina. If I ever do make a friend out of these other middle school girls, I don't want that friendship to be destroyed by a few simple truths. If I have not yet made a friend, I don't want this one thing looming in between us as a wall, making real connection totally impossible, thanks to the lies and cover-ups I have to employ to keep Lumina a secret.