Bellwether

1.

(mentions of not eating and degrading comments)

The world was spinning, her eyes couldn't focus. She could see land all around her, but where was she?

Screaming, was the only sound she could hear. The unrelenting sound of her world falling to pieces as she frantically reaches in every way to put those pieces back together

Breathing quickly she ran. She ran from the wreck behind her trying to find an escape. Only she couldn't. Yelling for help as she looked behind her in horror. inside the grey wreckage of her aircraft she saw him, he was trapped. Sobbing she screamed, "Jack! No!"

"Kelsi. Kelsi!" 

She heard someone calling her name. She looked closer at the demolished wreckage of what used to be a plane and looked even closer at her fallen comrade. Shaking, she doesn't see what was calling her. She looked into Jack's eyes only to find a deep void of nothing looking back at her. Suddenly she violently turned around and she saw him, Jack who had just been on the ground was in front of her. He looked like hell with burns singing his fair skin and his body mangled and broken. It was true horror.

He was screaming that she did this to him. "You're the pilot! You should've died with me! I hope someday you go down the same way! Kelsi, you deserve to die!" Sobbing, she tries to get out of his grasp. "No! Let me go!" She hit him over and over to no avail of getting away. His arms stayed tightly wrapped around her and he was shaking her.

"Kelsi wake the fuck up! Kelsi!"

***

Gasping for air, Kelsi shot up off of her bunk managing to hit whoever was shaking her in the face. 

Holding her face, Broadway scowled at Kelsi. "Shit! Smokin' what the fuck was that for!? Remind me that ill get fucking decked if I wake you up." Kelsi, who was still disoriented, looks around the room, "W-what happened?"

"You were rolling around and making a shit ton of noise, so as the good best friend I am I woke you up. Which I am never doing again.' Broadway rolls her eyes and scowls at Kelsi, still holding the side of her face. 

Kelsi sits up, "moving around?" she questioned. 

"Yeah, something about uh... Jack" She looks at Kelsi with a face full of pity.

 "Oh" Kelsi looks down with a frown on her face. 

Broadway sighs and sits next to her. " It's been two years Kels. Why don't you let go?" 

Kelsi glares and snaps at her. "You don't think I've tried that already? He plagues my mind telling me it's my fault and that I should quit or... uh it's something worse every time." She makes eye contact with Broadway. "I haven't slept for a full night in so long, I'm exhausted and I still go on missions because I want to prove jack wrong in the sense that I won't give up." She looks at her leather bomber jacket that's sprawled across her desk chair.

"You know that he wouldn't ever in a million years tell you to give up. what happened was an accident and you need to know that, Hell, it wasn't even remotely your fault at all!" Broadway throws her hands up exasperatedly. Kelsi sighs and doesn't look at her, Broadway rolls her eyes and moves Kelsi's face so she's looking at her. "You. need. to. move. on." She gives her a stern look

Kelsi clears her throat uncomfortably and stands up. She silently grabs all her toiletries and starts walking to the girl's locker rooms. "I'm gonna go shower. Don't wait up for me I'll be out on deck for our briefing." With those being her only words she walks away.

Broadway sighs and starts getting ready.

***

Kelsi stands under the shower head letting the freezing cold water run down her body. her mind clouded with intrusive thoughts of her dream. She had been having these horrible nightmares for almost two years after the death of her RIO. Like anybody who has nightmares, she never slept. Along with that, her eating schedule wasn't amazing. It's not like she wasn't hungry, she just never had time to eat. Any chance she had she would work herself to the bone in order to prove herself. 

Over time it was clearly taking a toll on her. She was more grumpy and formidable than ever before. Her usual perky and fun disposition was clouded by sadness, anger, regret, and fear.

***

Kelsi sighed and hesitantly exited the shower. She wished she could stay there forever, but the world never went her way. Drying herself off, Kelsi walked over to the locker with her call sign on it, 'Smokin'. She smirked at the name and opened her locker grabbing out her folded-up uniform, carefully putting it on making sure not to wrinkle it.

Kelsi had always been fond of her callsign, it was different from everyone else's and she liked the way it sounded. She got it because of how many times she crashed and burned in flight school. A low-key sad background for a kick-ass callsign.

Moving over to the mirror she pulled her dark brown hair into a sleek ponytail and then into a tight bun. She sighs and looks at herself, "Don't fuck up too much Smokin. Remember the goal." After saying those words of "encouragement" she put everything into her locker.

Like a middle school girl, she had pictures hanging on the door of her locker. Looking through them she finds her two favorites. picking up the first she smiles softly. The picture included her and Broadway in their teens sitting on the wing of an F-14. The second one she picked up and it was a family picture. She had grown up in small-town Oklahoma, so the family was everything to her. The picture contained her, her mom, dad, brother, baby sister, and dog. 

No words could explain how much she missed them.

She places the pictures back onto the door with their rightful magnets, and slowly she shuts the locker and makes her way out of the locker room.

***

Authors Note: Wow uh that was the first chapter I rllllllly hope you liked it!!! Don't forget to vote and comment!! AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNYWAY I hope you have an amazing night or day!! Thanks for reading!!!!