Pewdiecry: Alone

Chapter 6

Cry

"What?" I stared at Pewds. Amnesia? But he never mentioned it.

You didn't exactly tell him your life story now did you?

Fair point... But Amnesia?

"So you can't remember anything?" I ask him, rather stupidly. That is what it means to Amnesia dumbass. He shakes his head.

"It was a while ago, so I've gotten used to living with it. I get flashes... But they're not nice... Like something you wouldn't see or shouldn't see in real life." I sat down as he talked. "They wake me up... Like a nightmare that disappears before you can fully grasp the events. Thanks to that, I'm afraid of blood and large groups of people. Since no one came to me at the hospital, I was alone for so long."

Alone.

"Do you at least remember how you lost your memory?" He shook his head again.

"The doctors told me it was head trauma, from a car accident." He looked at his hand, staring at it as though it were the meaning to life itself. "All I can remember is a bright white light, and the sudden fear." He clenched his fist before coming back to the present. "It doesn't matter anymore. I moved out of Sweden to have a fresh start and so far its been pretty good." He packed his books away. I hadn't even noticed the bag under the table.

Someone had run him over. The thought of him hurt so much made me feel nauseous. Judging by the horrible flashes, I think he might be glad about forgetting whatever it was.

"Sorry... For bringing it up..." I say and stare at my coffee. He got up. Was he going to leave? No please not yet. I stand up to stop him but before I know it his arms are around me.

"Don't worry about it. I can't remember it that well and I've passed the point of being depressed about it." My heartbeat was increasing as his strong arms held me close to him. I gripped his shirt and relaxed into his embrace. It felt... Good. How long has it been? Since I could hug someone like this and not flinch at the thought that they might hurt me. It was warm. Comforting.

He smells nice.

I breathed in his scent as I leaned into his shoulder.

"Why?" I ask his chest. "Why do you care so much for me when you have so much on your mind? Is there any reason?" He pushes me up and looks at me with those wonderful blue eyes. I could feel the warmth spreading deep into my body. He runs his hands up my arm, causing a pleasent shiver to run down my spine.

"I guess I really can't hold back after all." His eyes looked slightly pained as he said those words, like holding back had been exhausting.

"What do you... Mean?" His hand had moved to the back of my head and was stroking my damp hair. He smiled as though the touch was something magical. Did he like to have contact with me that much?

Truth be told I knew he had deliberately kept coming to that same place in the park. I knew because that had been what I was doing. I was curious. Why did I have such a different reaction to him than I did with anyone else? Whenever we were outside he was always tense. He always seemed to be on edge.

But now, inside my small kitchen, he seemed so gentle. So warm.

I know exactly what he means. But I need to hear it.

"And here I thought it was pretty obvious..." He suddenly leant down, flicked my mask up a fraction and pulled me into his lips.

Pewds

He was so tense. For a moment, I thought I might have just overstepped a major boundary for him, done exactly what Minx had warned me not to do. I almost pulled away. But he was relaxing. I felt his hands hesitantly rest on my chest, gripping my shirt with shaking fists. One went behind my head, pulling me slightly closer to him.

He was kissing me back.

My heart raced as he groaned slightly. I pulled away and rest my head against his. We were both breathing heavily, holding each other close, not wanting to let go. His hands were still shaking. I covered the one on my chest with mine. I wanted to see his face, his expression after that. But I'll wait for that day.

"Are you OK?" I ask. He seems to be a little out of it. He looks up at me.

"I - I haven't even been able to touch another person without having a panic attack. W-why are you able to...?"

"The same reason that I could stay conscious while washing all of that blood off you." I reply. "I love you... Cry." He tensed at the words. But his hand had stopped shaking.

"Love?" He breathed. "You... Love me?" I embraced him, holding him tightly, feeling his breath on my neck.

"More than anything." I say, truthfully. He suddenly dropped, losing strength in his legs. I catch him and slowly help him to the floor. He was breathing heavily. "What's wrong? Cry?" He grips my arm and shakes his head.

"I-I'm so fucked up Pewds... Scarily so. Can you still love me even after knowing that?" He buries his head in my shoulder. I hug him close.

"Always."

"Then..." He straightened up, his right hand gripping his mask. "You don't mind this?" I place my hand over his.

"I would love to see your face..." I admit as I trace the mouth of the poker face. "But I love all of you. Including the mask. Without it I suppose you're not quite Cry." He held my hand, gripping it firmly.

"I don't know how to love..." I lift his chin with my finger, staring into those black holes.

"Then let's work it out together." I push his mask away from his mouth and once again claim his lips. They were so soft. I was gentle at first but he was pulling me into him so much that I quickly felt a stronger desire take over. I touched his lips with my tongue. It was a question for him to answer, which he did when he opened his lips to let me in. I groaned and pushed it in, intertwining with his. He was amazing.

He was mine.