SINFULLY INLOVE. chenji

31

they were silent the entire time they were on their way home together. after then, no one dared to speak at all. even though chenle was silent the whole walk, jisung knows how terrible the older is feeling. slipping an arm on chenle's shoulder, rubbing it softly to help him lower his cries, while the other hand was intertwined with chenle's. he hopes those small actions will soothe chenle, which they thankfully did.

and just like that, they went home with chenle silently crying in jisung's arms and jisung securely hugging chenle like he's a fragile glass.

despite jisung's desire to speak with chenle, the elder man doesn't appear to be in a good mood at the moment. he wants to know everything about what happened and has a lot of questions, but after what happened, they were unable to simply talk about it. he may have had a lot of questions and things he wanted to find out, but he chose to put off his questions because chenle just now only needed his comfort.

after having their dinner, jisung had a warm bath before snuggling with chenle, who was curled up on the bed in white sheets and clutching a pillow. "hey, you okay?" jisung inquired softly, slipping an arm around chenle while being as gentle as he could. the older didn't reply to his question, so he called out his name, "chenle?"

"hm, I'm alright."

he replied in a shaky voice, which caused jisung to frown. like a knight protecting his prince, he wants to protect him at all costs, keep him safe, and ensure that no one will touch or hurt him. however, jisung felt dissatisfied with himself after what had happened earlier. they should have run away or ignored that woman, but they just can't seem to manage it; it's not that simple. he was supposed to protect him, but he's a fool for letting it all happen.

"jisung," chenle called out his name, almost coming out as a whisper.

jisung snapped when he heard chenle calling his name, he quickly focused his attention on him, "what is it? do you need anything?" he asked worriedly. he grew more confused when chenle stood up, facing him after. the younger was about to ask another question but he didn't get to when chenle suddenly threw himself on jisung, hugging him tightly while his face is buried in his chest. jisung hugged him back, "hey, what's wrong?" his tone shows how worried he is. seeing chenle not answering any of his questions, he cupped his cheeks and made him look straight at his eyes, "lele, tell me."

"jisung, i don't want to leave you." he said softly, he can feel that he was slowly tearing up after saying those words, "I don't want her to take me away from you." a tear rolled down on his cheek, sniffing quietly.

seeing the person he loves the most cry is truly heart-breaking, jisung wiped those tears with his thumbs as he soothed him, "why didn't you tell me sooner?" he finally asked, "you should've told me sooner, chenle. so that i could've to hid you from her." he is mad, yet he doesn't want to show it. he is upset because chenle didn't inform him earlier and that as a result, things are happening that they don't want to. they will be apart; that is something jisung doesn't want to happen, but it's already happening. that woman may take chenle away from him at any time, and he probably can't do anything to stop it.

unless he does something to stop that woman from taking chenle away from him.

but again, he probably has no control over the situation. she has more authority over his son because she is chenle's mother, and he, he's just a friend of chenle. 

"I am thinking of the things you might possibly do once I tell you." chenle said. the younger doesn't get what he's saying, "what do you mean?"

"you might lock me in your basement and tie me up again, making sure that nobody would take me away from you," he explained. what he said made jisung slightly offended. yes, he does acknowledge that his obsession with chenle drove him to act in a certain way out of fear that chenle would be taken from him, so he did what he has to do. he would never hurt chenle or do the things he did back then; those were things of the past. because of his obsessions and the fact that he wasn't even aware of why he was acting in such a way, he even once believed that he was psychotic and needed to be institutionalized. he somehow regretted doing those things, he got so mad at himself and because of his hatred towards himself, he learned his lessons.

and no, he would never do those to chenle.

never again.


"and I'm also planning to not tell you, but since you already knew, i can't do anything about it." he said quietly. what he said made jisung give him a look, he was about to ask another question when chenle spoke, "i don't want you to know because i don't want to hurt you. she can easily take me away from you and i don't want you to think much about it, i wanted us to enjoy our time together without thinking about it." he sighed, "remember that night when i cried to you? she sent me a message that night, but i didn't tell you." 

"i'm sorry, jisung. i didn't tell you." 

no, this is can't be happening. realizing that he and chenle will be separated from one another hits him hard. he doesn't want to be away from chenle. his hopes are slowly falling apart. he did everything to get chenle and now, the older will be away from him, what makes it hard is there's a chance that he won't be seeing chenle anymore.



"will you be permanently away?" jisung questioned in a sad voice. he is incapable of living without chenle. he truly meant it when he said that chenle is the sole reason he is still alive. he's slowly healing from his past and it's definitely with the help of chenle, without him, he would likely no longer be alive.

chenle stared at him with tired eyes. he's having mixed feelings, but sadness prevails. he knows how important he is in jisung's life and he couldn't stand to see him like this. he doesn't want to go, but the thought of what his mother may do if he doesn't go with her frightens him. he doesn't know what to do, he can't even think properly, but, the only thing that matters right now is he and jisung. "I don't know... i don't want to think about it." 

"are you really going to leave me?" 


that question made chenle burst into tears. he doesn't want to be away from jisung either. although it is difficult for them both, they are unable to change it. 

T B C.