SINFULLY INLOVE. chenji

34

chenle wiped his eyes using his free hand. he gritted his teeth, trying his best to get free from the handcuffs, "fuck!" he cussed out loud, feeling the pain on his wrist as tears started to roll down his cheeks again, "jisung, let me out of here!" he yelled, but he knows it'll be useless. the younger won't listen to him, especially in this case, it's like a devil is controlling jisung, which is not very good. he's aggressive and violent. something is literally controlling jisung, not a devil, a bad spirit, or shit, but his emotions.

once again, chenle wiped his tears. his eyes met the key on the floor that jisung threw earlier. chenle tried to reach it but it was really far from him. now, he used all of his strength and energy in getting the key. using his feet, he stretched it out and tried to reach the key, despite the aching pain in his body and the stinging pain on his wrist.

"please..." he whispered out under his breath, but there was no real use. even if he used all of his energy, to stretch his feet to the point that he could feel them separating from his body, he won't reach it. change gave up, leaning his back on the cold wall, and taking a deep sigh. he couldn't do anything but scream out jisung's name and beg for him to let him free, "jisung, please..." he tried to scream but that came out as a whisper as he was too tired to raise his voice. now, he just has to wait and see what will happen in the next few hours.

it's been an hour, but still, jisung hasn't set him free, heck, he hasn't even checked on chenle yet.

losing hope, chenle just sat there, hugging his knees and sobbing quietly while he was rethinking about his plans for himself and jisung. was even moving in with jisung in the first place a good thing? he was just being a good friend, he just wanted to help jisung, but why is he receiving this kind of treatment? he's always making sure that jisung felt loved and happy enough but why is he hurting chenle? is he not enough?

he couldn't comprehend it. he does understand jisung but at the same time, he doesn't. why is he doing this? doesn't he love chenle? doesn't he feel happy with him? why is he hurting chenle?

maybe jisung is only using him as his own therapist and coping mechanism– no, chenle refuses to believe. he could feel it. jisung loves him. he would never use chenle for his own good.

is jisung acting this way because chenle couldn't understand him clearly? is there something jisung wanted to tell chenle?

they are both wrong if you put your mind to it. the thing is, they couldn't understand each other's point. maybe they're not really for each other. destiny is just putting a test on them.

chenle shakes off his head, trying to get rid of the stupid voices in his head debating whether he should leave jisung permanently or come back to his arms again. if he leaves jisung permanently, he feels like a huge fucker. he couldn't just be selfish and leave jisung for the rest of his life. he knows that he filled jisung's life with happiness and love, and he's a big part of jisung's life. he couldn't just leave him like that, that's stupid. but if he does come back, who knows? he'll probably hurt chenle again and again until he gets better and finally gets rid of the disturbing thoughts that had been disturbing his mind. jisung will probably gatekeep chenle to everything, be possessive, and even get obsessed with him to the point that he will gaslight and manipulate him into something like what his father–

no, he shouldn't think like that. jisung will never ever do that to him. he shouldn't compare jisung to his disgusting, abusive, and violent father.

he just realized, jisung and he has been very toxic to each other. they aren't even together but why are they acting like lovers? jisung has been hurting him but he would always forgives the younger for it. to add up, locking him up in his room, he's not being able to go out alone because it's dangerous outside and jisung doesn't want anybody to get him, and gatekeeping him from his own friends, are literally toxic. jisung is controlling him and yet, he doesn't see anything bad about it until now. he finally realized.