**a week ago**
"Como te atreves Christian!?" My mama shouted out in anger. (How dare you Christian!?)
Mama and I ended up in a heated argument due to the fact that I stated that God is not there for anyone but Himself. She was upset and quickly lost her temper right after that.
I wish she had asked how I felt and why I feel that way, but I would be a fool to think she would even try to put my feelings first for once.
My mother is Hispanic and black and my father... well I think it is best to not speak about him due to the fact that he's dead.
My mother was born a Christian lady from birth and from since she has kept her faith with God strong. I don't blame her. It is the way she was grown up and that is exactly how she tried to raise me and my sister as well. My sister Iyanna is about 5 years older than me and she has tried to keep her faith in God, but I can see that she is just about in the same stage as me.
"Mama, I don't want to argue right now! It's my opinion." I harshly stated and she looked at me with so much anger in her eyes. It was as if she couldn't believe me right now.
"You are willing to throw your relationship with God away just like that!? You think that it's okay to just do that Christian! I cannot believe you right now. Get out of my sight!" She shouted at the top of her lungs and my eyes began to water as I looked at her in fright.
It was not my intention to hurt her or make her feel as if she has failed as a mother in trying to make my relationship with God strong, but I just wish she understood why it's so weak.
**
We were in the middle of closing the Sabbath off since the sun had finally set.
"Okay, John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. What does that mean to you guys?" Mama asked looking at both Iyanna and I.
"Well, it is pretty much self explanatory. God died for us. Simple as that." I answered with a hint of sass in my voice. Mama glared at me not liking my answer and turned her attention to Iyanna, hoping for a better response.
"God had sent his Son to die for us so we can live. If we believe in Him, we will be able to make it to heaven, but if we don't believe in Him then we don't have a chance of going to heaven and meeting him." Iyanna stated as my mama smiled in her answer.
I scoffed. "What type of crap is that?" I accidentally spoke out loud.
"Christian." Mama warned and I looked at her and rolled my eyes. I abruptly got up from the couch and walked to the door of my bedroom but before I got the chance to enter I heard mama praying for me.
"Dear Heavenly Father, Lord I sit here today, praying for you to bless my daughters. Iyanna and Christian. I pray that you allow Iyanna to continue to be led in your sight and for Christian... Lord I need you to touch her. I need you to help her. I am asking you to forgive her for she does not know what she does. Put a healing hand over her Lord. Father, I ask that you send someone or something to help her to be brought back to you. If it isn't me or Iyanna, Lord let it be someone that is good for her. Thank you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
I walked away from my door and back out to where mama was and looked at her right in the eye.
"Do not pray for me... I do not need your prayers."
