It was Monday morning and I was dashing to get ready for school. I woke up late from forgetting to set my alarm and threw on whatever I can find after showering and brushing my teeth. I was a lazy dresser anyway, so the sweatpants and hoodie is nothing new to me.
I ran towards Iyanna's room and saw that she was still sleeping. I ran downstairs to grab a bagel and headed out of the door in a max of fifteen minutes getting ready. New record time for sure.
I don't own a car, but I did own a bike so that is what I had to use. I do not fathom the idea of riding bikes to school because everyone usually pulls up in their fancy cars and here I am peddling on this two foot bike.
The bike was rusting by the handles and slightly by the peddles which slowed the speed of it, disabling it from reaching its maximum.
I was halfway to school when a car made a sudden stop in front of me. I didn't realize that the light was red and crossed the light while the cars were coming. I literally could've gotten myself killed.
"Thank God." I breathed out unconsciously as my heartbeat sped up from fear.
I made it to school 10 minutes late for class which made me just drop my bike on the parking lot ground and run inside.
I had Bible class first and honestly, I didn't want to go, so I didn't. I had chilled in the bathroom until second period started and then made my way to history.
I knew that if I went to Bible, all I would have heard the entire time would be "God died for us." "God loves us." "God saves us through troubled times." blah blah blah. I'm tired of hearing that all the time.
If he saves us through troubled times, why didn't he save me?
Save me the pity.
The school day went by fairly quick and I walked outside to where my bike was so I can go home early today. I wanted to avoid social interaction with anyone and I was successful for the most part until I heard my name being called.
"Christian!"
I turned around to see who was calling me and it was one of my friends Leah. I sighed and raised an eyebrow asking what she wants.
"Here's the homework that you missed for first period." Leah hesitated and then handed me a paper that had a few questions and an essay at the bottom. I took the paper and mumbled a quiet "thank you" and went to turn around when she grabbed my arm gently and turned me back.
"What's going on Christian?" She asked in hopes of getting an answer.
"It's nothing. I'm okay, I'm sorry I just didn't feel like interacting with anyone today. Thank you though." I half smiled and she stared into my eyes probably trying to find lie but then just nodded and gave me a small hug.
I was caught off guard at first but slowly brought my arms around her to hug her back. I made a small sniffle and to say that I needed a hug would just be a joke.
I needed a friend.
"I know you don't want to tell me what's going on, but whatever it is, I am here Christian. I am begging you to not beat yourself up over whatever it is." Leah whispered and a small smile played on my lips.
What was wrong?
I can't even tell you what's wrong because I don't even know what's wrong. I just always felt so...
Lost.
I felt like I was missing something and I can't figure out what it is. I had thanked her and went on my bike and made my way back home with a little smile on my face where I actually felt like someone cared about me.
