**5 months ago**
"Christian, give it back!" Dominic shouted while shoving me across the room.
Dominic is the ex that made my life a living hell. If it wasn't for him, maybe I would be in a better place by now.
Maybe.
We got into a physical fight when I noticed that he has been texting a few girls in his phone.
I had grabbed his phone and he quickly went into defensive mode. He started shoving me and shouting for me to give his phone back. I only was able to see a few messages, but they were not good at all. I was angry.
This is only one of the instances that has taken place. This is not the reason why I left God.
"Why are you texting them Dom?!" I screamed out as tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't believe this.
"You won't give me what I want." He whispered. I don't know what he is talking about. I don't know what he wants.
"What do you want!?" I whisper shouted as I roughly shoved him back from all the shoving he had done to me.
"For you to give yourself to me."
When I heard that, I immediately knew what he meant. I am now starting to believe that that was all he wanted me for. I had raised my hand and there was a loud echo from the hard slap I landed on his face. I was disappointed.
It came too quickly when I fell to the ground from him landing a hard punch to my nose that led into a nose bleed and possibly a broken nose.
I was wrong for putting my hands on him and I know I am, but he was also wrong. This was not our first physical fight, but he never hit me as hard as he did today.
Why did I stay?
I don't know.
Love? Infatuation? The idea of him? Expecting him to change? The thought that he would be better for me?
I don't know.
I quickly placed my hand on my nose and winced in pain as I felt warm liquid trickle down my lips. It was definitely broken.
**
Mama and I haven't spoken from since. We would walk right past each other in the house because we are both too stubborn to either apologize for upsetting the other or we just have too much pride to think that we are wrong. I think it's the second option.
And I don't even know what I am right about? I forgot what we were mad at each other for.
When it came down to dinner time, we all just ate our food in silence and the only sound that I heard was the clinking of the forks and the slushing of the pasta that was made. Iyanna even felt as if she had no right to speak or intervene with the silence because of how strong it was.
I wanted to be the bigger person in this house, but she should be the one to lead us and teach us to communicate. Communication in this house is so weak and then mama wonders why no one comes to talk to her when she brings an uninviting environment. All we do is get angry at each other so easily, I wish she took the time to teach us patience.
I know we all lack it.
I grabbed my plate and washed up and headed to bed. It was Saturday and I knew that I had a whole new week ahead of me that I had to prepare for.
