Death by Sea (Pernico fanfic)

Chapter 18: Unplugged (Nico's POV)

*Tadaima! :D*

Chapter 18: Unplugged (Nico's POV)

I don't know which I wish more for myself anymore. Death, life, or this in between space. This is a purgatory... a purgatory that is more like hell.

I cannot quite understand the reason I was put here, in this space. If it was something that was a punishment or a reward. People always wonder what it must be like to see those they love and care for in some space after death.

I hate it.

I cannot stand it.

This is hell.

****

Watching the screen is painful, but not watching is even more painful. What was the point of sending me here? Why would I be cursed in this way? Was this part of the burden I bore because of the Shadow?

I miss Percy. I miss him so much. Seeing him upset and crying is more than I can bear. This is worse than the Shadow... this is the worst.

"Nico..." Percy threads his fingers with mine. The warmth. "I'm so sorry, Neeks."

Don't be sorry... Don't say you're sorry... I'm sorry...

"I don't even know if... if you hear me. I wish I did," Percy smiled painfully. "I don't know if it would be better or if it would drive me crazy. I would talk to you all day and night you know..."

I know...

"But just in case you don't know," Percy said softly, "we're unplugging you today."

This hurts...

"I'm so sorry, Neeks. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. This was supposed to go smoothly and... and somehow... it didn't."

Too much...

"I just... I love you, you know," Percy squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm... going to let you go though. You've helped me in more ways than I can count, Nico. You've helped me with my break-up with Annabeth, you... well, you erased that pain so simply. I didn't ache at her absence because I had you. Thank you, Nico."

Don't thank me...

"You also are beautiful, you know. In your own way. In a boyish kind of beautiful. Painfully beautiful, even as you're dying, you're very beautiful. Not in the creepy way of course," Percy tries to laugh. He fails.

I love you too...

"This is going to be the last time... I speak to you before your funeral and stuff," Percy murmurs. "Funeral... your funeral... that sure is hard for me to say." Percy's voice cracks.

It's hard to hear for me as well...

"I'm going to go to Camp Jupiter after this. I'll speak with Reyna and Jason and I want to go to the underworld. I want to talk to your father, Nico. I want to know how you're doing. He's gone into hiding down there, Hades I mean. He cares for you more than he wants to I think," Percy admits. "Reyna sends her best... she couldn't make it... things in New Rome have been going south lately. Don't worry about it though, we'll all be fine."

Don't... let me-

"Nico..." Percy's hand gently pushes back some of the hair off my forehead.