worth it • rafe cameron

chapter 3- kisses

tw drug abuse

kaylins pov:

i woke up to rafe standing over me me, which confused me. i groaned, "what rafe. were not together you can't ju-" i stopped when i saw a bit of white powder in his nose. it had been a day or two since i had my last fix and i was craving the shit more than ever. it didn't bother me to know that rafe had been using just a few minutes before this, but it did concern me. now, i wasn't concerned for him because that isn't my place anymore, but for myself. rafe used to get violent when he was high, and that is what scared the hell out of me. i realized i was spacing out and jolted my head a bit. i needed to know more about what was going on and where this boat was going. "um rafe... where are we? whats going on" i asked before i could stop myself.

"were at the port, in the bahamas" i sighed when he said this knowing how much i shit i got myself into. "your coming with us to the bahamas house. i talked to my dad you can stay with us for now" he said calmly.

"rafe i don't want to stay with you. i don't love you anymore." i said loudly. i knew i still loved him but he didn't need to know that. rafe just stood there, a little stunned.

i caved, "okay, rafe i didn't mean that. part of me will always love you. we just can't be together. all we did for the past months was smoke, drink, fuck, and snort coke. it wasn't healthy."

rafe nodded agreeing and said, "i know, i know. i just- i just." i cut him off. "i understand" i said as i pulled him in for a hug.

we stayed like this for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. rafe finally finished his sentence, "i just love you, i've never loved someone as much as i love you. vanessa was a mistake and i was just a mess then. i didn't mean to hurt you."

i nodded and said, "i know, i know." i was starting to get upset myself as i said this. i wanted to tell him i loved him. i wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but i knew i couldn't.

"i'm- we're a wreck. " he said crying even more. i knew he was right. i pulled out of the hug and looked into his eyes. "your right." i didn't have time to think before rafe pulled me into him and pressed his lips onto mine. i wanted to kiss him back so bad, but i couldn't. i pulled myself back after a few seconds.

"i-i'm sorry i don't know why i did that." he said backing away from me. his voice was shaky and i knew he regretted it.

"it's okay rafe. we can't just live like this. i want to be with you, i really do, but we aren't okay." i said softly and he nodded.

rose suddenly walked into the room and told us to pack up, as we were at the port.

"please stay with me kaylin, at the bahamas house. i don't want to be alone." he said wiping his dried tears. i knew it was a bad idea, but i agreed.

we both walked off the boat together and i got dirty looks from ward. before we knew it we were at the house.

i was about to walk into the guest room when rafe asked, "stay in my room?" i froze. i knew i shouldn't but i nodded.

rafe and i walked into his huge room and he set down his suitcase. this is when it hit me. my friends were gone, i was in a strange country with nothing, and i was here with rafe cameron. i started breaking down without even realizing.

i fell to the floor sobbing and rafe ran up to me. "what happened kaylin? are you okay." he frantically said. after a few seconds i managed to choke out, "i'm falling apart" he nodded and pulled me into a hug.

he let me cry into his chest for a while until he pulled me up. "come on, lets go to bed." he said

"i don't have any clothes." i said looking at him. he went into his draw and tossed me a shirt and some boxers.

i slowly walked into the bathroom and changed. i knew i shouldn't but i took a bag out of my pocket and set it down on the counter. i formed two lines of the white substance. i snorted them immediately and put the bag back into my pocket.

when i walked out rafe was sitting on the bed. i gave him a small smile and sat next to him. "i missed you" i said. this was the truth, for the past month he was all i thought about. "i missed you too" he said. we both layed down next to each other and i moved my head onto his chest.

"do you ever think we could be something again?" he asked me. i thought about it for a minute. "i do." i said slowly.

he looked into my eyes and sighed. "your high?" he asked me. i shrugged and said, "you are too."

"i know i don't care that you are i ju-" i cut him off and kissed him. i didn't really think about it, i just did. it took him a minute but he kissed me back.

after a few seconds i broke the kiss for a breathe. "wanna snort coke" i asked him. "you know me too well" he said as we both pulled bags out of our pockets.