worth it • rafe cameron

chapter 13 - rager

kaylins pov:

"KAYLIN!" vanessa said as she stood at the alcohol table. i ran over and hugged her. "shots?!" she asked me, practically yelling over the music. "obviously!" i screamed back and we both downed two shots. "dance with me kaykay!" she yelled. "you know i hate that nickname!" i shouted as she pulled me onto the dance floor. we had only been dancing for a few minutes when rafe pulled me aside.

"ready to sell some shit?" he asked me. i nodded and followed him into the basment, where there were people waiting to buy coke. we sold like 5 bags of it and snorted a few lines ourself.

"this party is awesome." i told rafe. i was sitting on his lap in the room where everyone was doing drugs. "it is babe." he said as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. suddenly vanessa bursted into the room.

"the pouges are here and looking for you kaykay." she said as she wiped the extra powder off my nose. "i'll be back rafe" i said as i stood up. he nodded and i walked out with vanessa.

i walked over and saw everyone but sarah. "where is sarah john b?" i asked him. he was quiet for a minute before saying, "we broke up. i think she is still coming though." he rubbed the back of his neck a little. "oh i'm sorry." i said slurring my words. i was pretty drunk.

"have you been drinking? you shouldn't be if your trying to stay clean." jj said and looked at me concerned. kie nodded in agreement. "we just don't want you to relapse you know." pope said. before i could speak nessa said, "too late." everyone went quiet. i don't think she realized they didn't know i was still using. i gave her a little shove and she got the memo. "oh i'm just kidding." she said and laughed awkwardly.

the pouges knew i wouldn't give in, but they clearly knew she wasn't joking. everyone just brushed it off and we started dancing.

after a while of dancing, i felt someone grab my arm and i thought it was rafe, but i turned to see sarah crying. "kaylin, we need to talk." i looked around for nessa to tell her i'd be right back, but she was gone. i followed sarah into a random guest room. "what's up sarah?" i asked. "are you okay?" i said when i realized she was crying. "i don't know" she responded. "i need to talk to you about rafe, he did something bad." she said and i got scared for a second. "sarah... what did he do?" i asked quickly.

"h-he actually did two bad things." she said and pulled up her shirt to reveal a huge bruise. i ran over to her confused and worried. "oh my god sarah what happened?" i said quietly.

"i-i walked in on rafe selling coke, and i told him he shouldn't do that. he was clearly high, so he relapsed. and i-i don't know if you were supposed to know that but" she stopped for a second when she saw my blown pupils. "but i bet you knew that because your using too." she said a little disapointed. "i knew he was selling, but we didn't relapse until tonight." sarah just nodded and continued.

"he told me not to control him and its his life, and then he push me into the wall and hit me." she finished. "oh my god, oh my god sarah. i didn't think he would do this, i thought he was getting better." i said and she started crying again. i walked over to her and gave her a hug.

we stayed like that for a minute before she let go. "the other bad thing he did is about that girl your friends with, her name is like vanessa?" she asked and i froze. "thats her name..." i said scared for what sarah was about to say.

"well i walked away from him after he hit me but a few minutes later i walked past his room and heard someone moaning his name. i didn't know who it was until he said hers too." she said still crying and i stood there stunned. "h-he cheated on me?" i asked tearing up. she nodded and gave me a hug. "i wanted to be sure so i peaked in the room, and there was a girl on top of him." she said hugging me back.

i practically fell to the floor sobbing. i can't believe i was stupid enough to think he had changed. "i-i need to go find him." i said slowly. she agreed and i walked out of the room. i looked a mess and still had tears streaming down my face. i stumbled around the house looking for him until i found him by the alcohol.

i didn't know what to do but i walked up to him. he was with topper and kelce. they both waved at me and rafe tried to kiss me, but i pushed him away. "baby what was that about?" he asked me.
"i don't know, maybe you can ask vanessa, since you clearly like her more than me. yeah thats right rafe, i know you fucked my best friend. again." i yelled at him and topper and kelce whispered to each other.

rafe stood there looking suprised i knew. "i did't fuck vanessa kaylin." he said slowly. "cut it rafe, your not lying your way out of this one." i yelled. "you say you love me one minute and the next your all over my best friend! what is wrong with you! i gave you a second chance, i got clean with you, i literally told you my about my step dad, and you betray me like this." i kept yelling. people were starting to stare now.

"i-i didn't mean to kay, she didn't mean anything." he started explaining. "if she didn't mean anything, it wouldn't have happended twice." i said with tears in my eyes. he stood there speechless before rambling on about how it was a mistake. "i don't wanna hear it rafe. leave me the fuck alone" i said with tears rolling down my face.

i turned to walk away and he grabbed my arm. "no, no please kay please don't leave me." he begged but i turned around and pushed him off of me.

"you don't get it do you? your such a terrible person rafe! every time i trust you, you betray me. maybe rose is right- there is something wrong with you." i screamed at him. he was holding back tears at this point and i immediately regretted what i said. everyone was staring now and the room went quiet.

we both stood there for a minute. i felt so guilty, and i knew i shouldn't have brought that up. "i-im sorry i shouldn't have said that." i said softly as he just stood there.

"no, your right. there is something wrong with me." he said and he looked like he was about to breakdown. i knew i was all he had left, but i didn't forgive him. "just come here." i said as i pulled him down the hall and into his room.

he immediately broke down. "you know, i was trying to be better. i was trying so hard. and then i relapsed and i did this and i lost you and-" he was rambling now so i just pulled him into a hug.

"i love you so much rafe, but i just can't forgive you this time. i don't think we'll be okay again."
i said as he was crying on my shoulder.

"i don't think i can live without you." he said in between sobs. "i don't know if i can live without you either, but i have to try." i responded.

"bye rafe." i said as i stood up and walked towards the door. "does this mean we're over?" he asked me quietly. "i think it does." i said as i wiped my tears and walked out of the room.