worth it • rafe cameron

chaper 4- breaking down

tw drug use + seggs
kaylins pov:

rafe took the powder from the bag and started to form lines. "how many lines did you already have?" he asked me. "two" i responded. he nodded and formed six lines.

he rolled up two dollar bills and handed me one. i bent down and snorted all three lines in less that a minute. i let my body go limp and fall backwards until i was laying down. rafe did the same thing.

rafe reached over and wiped off the extra powder from my nose. i laughed a little and he wrapped his arm around me. "what are we?" he asked.

i wasn't sure myself so i responded, "whatever we want to be." he was quiet for a minute.

"do you want to be together again?" he said sounding nervous. i hesitated for a moment before saying, "of course i want to..."he smiled and pulled me closer to him. "but you know we can't" his smile faded and he let go of me. i pulled him back onto me and said, "just because we're not together doesn't mean we can't make out." right after i said that he pulled me in for a kiss.

i knew i might regret this night later, but i sat up and straddled him while he was still laying down. he sarcastically said, "already trying to fuck me kaylin?" i laughed a little and said, "just shut up and kiss me."

he listened and pulled me on top of him. our lips smashed together and his tongue entered my mouth. we deepend the kiss and i grinded on top of him. "fuck" he said as he pulled off my shirt. i helped him take his off before he un-hooked my bra.

"are you sure?" he asked me. i said yes and we continued making out and undressing. he took a minute to just look at me, and i did the same to him.

he snapped out of it and flipped me over so that he was on top of me. he grabbed my tits and i let out a soft moan. he kissed from my neck down to my tits and slowly sucked on my skin. he knew it would leave a mark, but he didn't seem to care.

he pulled out his dick from in his boxers and slowly inserted himself inside of me. i cursed under my breathe. he laughed at me a little and said, "can't take it like you used to?" i rolled my eyes and said, "fuck you." he replied, "i thought you were doing that." and smirked. he thrusted in and out of me faster and faster. i was moaning a little too loud now and he covered my mouth with his hand.

"i'm close" i said, and he nodded in agreement. after a few more seconds we both reached our highs. he came inside of me and i moaned his name. he fell next to me in the bed and we were both breathing heavily.

"damn" he said as i tried to get up. i stumbled a little and he laughed. "might want to wait a minute princess" i ignored him and did my best to walk to the bathroom. "you joining me?" i asked him as i turned the shower on.

he smirked and followed me into the bathroom. "round 2 already?" he asked me as i got into the shower. he followed me and pushed me into the wall. we went at it again until we both reached our highs. "fuck" we both said at the same time.

he laughed a little and we finished showering. after we dried off and got into bed we just looked at each other. "we're not good for each other rafe" i sighed.

"then why does it feel so right?" he asked me seriously. "i think we are meant for each other." i said as i forgot my previous statement. he nodded in agreement and we slowly drifted off to sleep.

the next morning
i woke up on rafe's chest with his arm around me. i was only wearing a bra and underwear, and he was only wearing boxers. i stared at him for a minute before he woke up.

"wow you can't take your eyes off me" he joked. i yawned and said, "can you blame me?" he laughed at me and gave me a little squeeze. suddenly, wheezie ran into the room without knocking.

i quickly grabbed the blanket and covered us but it was too late. wheezie said, "i thought you two broke up, or was that just an excuse for rafe to do drugs?" i was a little speechless but responded, "we did" she rolled her eyes and looked at rafe.

"so then why are you naked in his bed?" she asked. we were both speechless. "whatever" she said as she left just as fast as she came in. i looked at rafe and he looked a little upset. "don't let her get to you." i said giving him a smile. he nodded and said, "it's hard not to sometimes." i gave him a sympathetic smile and a hug. "do you want to talk about it?" i asked.

he stayed quiet for a minute but then slowly nodded. "it's just, whatever i do isn't enough for ward. he's always like sarah more than me and he isn't afraid to chose her over me. and wheezie, her smartass comments about me doing drugs just piss me off. she knows i can't help it. and rose- she knows there is something wrong with me. my dad knows too but won't admit it. i-i mean look at me." he was starting to cry. "i know i'm not okay and i need help but i just-i just can't. i can't face the fact that rose is probably right, there is something wrong with me." he was starting to break down at this point. "i-i just can't take it anymore. i don't want to be like this. i want to be better. for you, for wheezie, my dad, and even rose. i just can't. whenever something goes wrong i turn to coke." he was completely falling apart now. "i-it's just that i-i think i'm addicted." he said in between sobs. my heart broke to hear him say those words. in my heart i knew he was, but he had never admitted it before. i wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but i wasn't sure that it would.

i grabbed his body and pulled it towards me and into a hug. he was still breaking down. he was never this vulnerable in front of me before, so i wasn't sure what to say. "shhh, rafe it's okay." i said. "n-no it's not." he replied.

he had tears streaming down his face and onto my back. i held his head with my hand and hugged him tighter. we stayed like this for a while before he calmed down and pulled away. he looked me in the eyes and said, "i need help..." i nodded in agreement. "and i think you do too." he finished.

i sighed and shook my head. "i'm okay rafe, seriously." i said hesitantly. "no your not. neither of us are." he was crying again.

"all we do is get high and drunk. we're both so traumatized we can't think straight. we aren't going to make it out of this alive without help." he said. i was crying now too. he pulled me into him from behind and hugged me.

"i mean, you overdosed, and i almost did multiple times. this isn't just doing coke anymore, i'm— we're," he corrected himself before finishing, "both addicted to it." we continued sobbing in each other arms for a while before we calmed down.

"you're right." i finally said. "we're not okay."