worth it • rafe cameron

chapter 11

kaylins pov:

i woke up in a cold sweat, shaking. my heart was racing and i noticed rafe grab my arm. i jumped a little but he pulled me into him. "it's okay, its just part of the withdrawl." he said. he held me for a few minutes until i finally said, "do you really think we can do this?"

he answered, "i think you can." and got quiet after. a minute later he continued, "i tried this before kay, withdrawal is so terrible i just end up doing drugs again."

"this time will be different, we're doing this together baby." i told him and he held me tighter. "i already feel like shit, it's only a matter of time before i cave." he said. i didn't reply, i knew the same thing goes for me. we both eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

wednesday morning:
i woke up and turned to see rafe staring at the ceiling. he turned to me and gave me a kiss. "did you sleep?" i asked him and he replied, "nope."

suddenly, a wave of nausea came over me. i mumbled, "fuck this" and then rushed to the bathroom. rafe already knew what was happening and got up to follow me. i leaned over the toilet and he held my hair back. it felt like i threw up all the food i had this week. rafe rubbed my back and i wiped my mouth when i was finished.

"are you okay?" he asked me and i didn't reply. i went and laid back down on the bed. rafe looked really shaky, so i pulled him down next to me. i laid my head on his chest and ran my fingers through his hair.

"can we go see the pouges?" i asked him after a while. "uhm sure" he responded. i got up and grabbed my keys. i didn't have the energy to change or get ready, neither did he. we were both super weak and looked a mess. i think we were wearing the same clothes from the last time we saw the pouges at the beach.

we got in my car and drove to the chateau, they were normally there. "can you give me a few minutes?" i asked him. "sure." he said and i went inside. they all looked at me silently.

"oh my god your a mess kay, are you alright?" john b asked. i shrugged my shoulders and slowly walked over to the couch. i sat next to jj and hugged him. i whispered in his ear, "i'm sorry" he hugged me back and nodded. "it's not your fault" he whispered.

"but it is." i said as i let go of him. "uhm i'm just here to say sorry about how i acted the past week. i wasn't in the right mindset and i didn't mean to hurt you guys." i was starting to cry a little, and i think it is because of the withdrawal.

kie said, "it's okay kay." and she came and hugged me. "i-i'm just trying to do the right thing. i'm— we're getting clean." i said softly.

kie pulled away from me and asked if i was in withdrawal, and i nodded. "do you need anything? i heard withdrawal sucks." sarah said. i shook my head. "i need to go back to rafe, but i'll see you guys soon." i said wiping my tears. they nodded and i left. i got in my car and rafe was shaky and covered in sweat. he looked at me and then back at the chateau. "i think i'm in love with you." i said as i looked at him. he replied, "i know i'm in love with you."

two days later:
rafe and i were still in withdrawal, and the past two days had been a living hell. we both felt terrible and couldn't think straight.

"wanna go for a drive?" i asked rafe. "yea, maybe it can clear our heads." he replied. we walked outside and got in the car.

i smiled and started driving. i parked near the beach and we sat and talked to each other for hours. i loved him so much.