Strictly Breaking the Rules

Keep Holding On

Maddie Topher POV

I used to love when my families got together. I always loved the feeling of being surrounded by people that actually care about me. My grandparents used to bring me gifts, my aunt and uncles came with their children, and we'd always have a blast. It was a time when I didn't have to worry about my parents yelling at me every five seconds because they were chatting it up with the other adults. It was always so loud whenever my family came to visit.

Today was the opposite.

I watched familiar faces find seat, and wipe their eyes ever so open. Both of my grandfathers were on either side of me, trying consoling their grieving wives and my grandmothers. Richard's older brother and my uncle Jacob was trying to explain what a funeral was to his youngest daughter Casey. As for me, I was front and center.

I just wanted today to end.

"Hey." A soothing voice rubbed my back. I recognized the voice as no one other than my older cousin, Sophia. I blinked back a few tears and bit my bottom lip.

She sat down next to me and placed her hand on my knee, giving me a shake. "Maddie, Uncle Rich and Diane wouldn't want you to be like this...not here."

Yes, yes they would. They would probably be having a good laugh at this right now. I can picture it right now.

She moved my head so that I was looking at her, squishing my cheeks between her hands. She gave me a little shake before making her next point. "I'm serious Madison. Lighten up, don't be so morbid."

What the...? I'm attending a funeral for my parents, what do you want to do? Do laps around the place while screaming "Hooray! You guys are dead, let's disco!"?

I took in a breath. I loved my cousin, probably a little too much. She was always there for me, even when she went off to college. She pulled her black hair into a slick ponytail that sat on top of her head and her makeup had been done flawless to match her deep hazel eyes. Jealousy sparked through me.

"Well aren't you going to say something?" She asked me promptly. "I don't get a 'hi' or an 'i missed you'?"

I stared forward. She couldn't take the hint? I love her in all, but talking is really the last I felt like doing right now.

"Soph." Her younger brother Jay, or Jacob Jr., depending on who he was speaking to. "She doesn't want to talk right now."

I gave him a quick look and he nodded at me, understanding the internal conflict that I was currently having with myself at the moment. Sophia looked between us and slowly stood up, dusting off her black pencil skirt.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry." She placed her hands on her hips. "Let's go help dad with Casey. "

I took notice of my younger cousin crying in the back of my mind. She shouldn't be crying, she was only like three. She had no clue what was going on. Maybe my parents were glad they were dead, as morbid as it sounds. Maybe their glad that they don't have to deal with me and Adrian anymore.

I shed a tear at the thought of my brother.

Why didn't go after that night? I didn't do anything. It was crying for help, and I tried to help him. I tried. But why did he have to leave? I could have helped him. We could have gotten through this thing. Together. But instead, he ran. And now, the police are after him, and when they do find him, he'll be arrested. The worst part was he probably didn't even know that this was happening. He probably thought that our parents were still alive...looking for him.

This was all my fault.

My lips quivered as I struggled not to cry. Maybe I was the one that deserved to die.