yours.

[30] Jasper

We eventually do ride the Ferris wheel, paying the five-dollar admission fee and going through the cycle three times. I stay tucked under his arm as he whispers promises in my ear, of how we'll spend the summer, the places he'll take me, the things we'll see. I don't know if they're empty or not, but I don't care. Everything about our time together has been so perfect -- I don't want to spoil it with my doubts.

He gives me a quick kiss just before we step off the ride, and I smile softly, watching as he glances back at our pod we rode in.

"Seventeen," he reads, patting the red number on its side. "My favorite number, now."

I readjust my grip on the stupid lizard Miles insisted on buying me and look up at him. "Because of the ride?"

He grins down at me, taking my free hand in his. "Because of you."

My face goes hot as we find our way to the carnival's exit. He likes me, I think, not for the first time since we kissed by the beach. He actually likes me. I spent weeks trying to convince myself that he didn't -- he couldn't, and after all this time, he's proven me wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have been so... quick to assume. I smile to myself, now unashamed to do so around him. He likes me.

We near the parking lot, and Miles' fingers slip from mine. Following his gaze, I spot his sisters waiting over by Chelsea's car, speaking softly, and I understand. He's not ready to tell his family yet. And I get it. More than anyone.

We approach the pair, and the closer we get, the more it becomes apparent that Chelsea isn't just talking to her sister -- she's consoling her. Lesley is crying, wiping at her eyes with the backs of her hands. Miles groans beside me. "What's she crying about now?"

Lesley glares up at him, her eyes red. "I... I couldn't get the pig." Tears stream down her face as a new wave of tears breaks free.

Miles looks to Chelsea for an explanation, and she sighs, "There was a rigged claw machine. She wanted this one pig plush, but it kept slipping out of the claw."

"And they only let me try three times!" Lesley wails.

Miles doesn't seem to care, so I figure it's up to me to help. I glance down at my two prizes for a moment before extending my sixty-five-dollar violet lizard to the girl. "Here."

Miles stares at me. "Jasper, are you kidding? I spent--"

"Lost of time winning me this. Yes, I know," I interrupt easily, wagging the stuffed animal at Lesley, who watches it, mesmerized. "You can have it. Its name is..." I stare down at the lizard, grinning. "Señorita Something."

Miles laughs, ushering me to the car with a hand braced against the small of my back. "You're so annoying, you know that?" Lesley takes the plush from me, giggling, and runs to the other side of the car to climb into the passenger seat while Miles opens the door for me.

"You know you love it," I mutter once I'm sure neither of his sisters is listening. His cheeks blush red as proof, and I slide into the seat, triumphant. He walks around the back of the car to climb in opposite me, and we lock eyes, a small smile growing across his lips. Lips that I've kissed, lips that have kissed me.

I tune in to hear Chelsea and Lesley bickering about the radio again, and Miles turns to face front. We ride home in silence, much like our ride here, but this time, both of us sit with the perfect memories of the night's events weighing on our minds. Absentmindedly, my hand drifts up to brush a finger against the left side of my neck, where Miles' mouth ventured. I remember the starved look in his eye just before he went in for the kill, and I suppress a shudder. Maybe I should have let him keep going, a small voice in the back of my head pipes up. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped him. But that would have been dangerous, wouldn't it? I don't know how far he -- we -- would have gone.

Distantly, I feel a spot of pressure against the side of my foot and glance down. Miles' shoe is pressed to mine in a simple, quiet act of connection. I reciprocate, nudging my shoe against his. We remain like this, touching shoes instead of holding hands, until we reach home.

There, Lesley bolts out of the car, and Chelsea rushes to follow, shouting after her. But Miles and I stay, still not facing each other.

"I... I had a good time with you tonight," he says earnestly, piercing the fragile silence. He looks over at me. "Thank you for joining me."

I don't even want to imagine how things would be if I hadn't agreed to accompany him tonight. I meet his eye. Much worse, I can assume. For me, at least. 

I don't want to go back inside and face my father. I don't want my time with Miles to come to a close. And most of all, I don't want to see what happens between us tomorrow, after the magic of the night has worn off. But, all good things must end, right? And maybe tonight is just... one of those things. "I had fun, too." My hand creeps halfway across the seat between us, and Miles' comes to meet it. Then the air between us changes, becomes more electric, and it's so freeing to know I can just lean forward and--

Miles' door opens. "Hurry up, please. I need to pull the car in." Then Chelsea glances between us, and just before she can realize what was happening in here, Miles shoos her away and steps out of the car. I follow suit, and soon after, the car lurches forward, into the gaping entrance of the garage.

I meet Miles on his driveway. He waits for the garage door to close his sisters inside before pulling me into a hug. I respond awkwardly, having only one arm to use. The other grips my giant teddy bear, which I realize still has no name.

"Let me walk you home," Miles offers once we part, and I don't refuse. At my door, we face each other, unsure of how to end this near-perfect night. Miles leans in for a kiss, and I pull away, glancing at the closed black door beside us.

"Not here," I warn. I know my parents can't see me, but still... I don't want to risk it.

Miles reaches out to squeeze my hand instead, understanding. "See you tomorrow, then?"

I smile, returning the squeeze. "See you tomorrow."